THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


JOHN    WHOPPER    IN   CHINA, 
By  the  Air-Line  Route. 


JOUN   WHOPPER   AT    THE  NORTH   POLE. 


JOHN    WHOPPER 


THE    NEWSBOY. 


WITH   ILLUSTRATIONS. 


BOSTON: 

ROBERTS     BROTHERS. 
1871. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1870,  by 

ROBERTS  BROTHERS, 

In  the  office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress  at  Washington. 


Stereotyped  and  Printed  by 

ALFRED  MUDGE  &SON, 

Boston,  Mass. 


PS 

7299 


CHAPTER    I. 

HOW  JOHN  WHOPPER   DISCOVERED  THE  AIR 
LINE  TO  CHINA. 


years  ago  last  February,  I 
think  it  was  on  a  Tuesday  morn 
ing,  I  started  as  usual  very  early 
to  distribute  my  papers.  I  had  a  large 
bundle  to  dispose  of  that  day,  and 
thought  that  if  I  took  a  short  cut 
across  the  fields,  instead  of  following 
the  road  from  Eoxbury  to  Jamaica 
Plain,  I  could  go  my  rounds  in  much 
less  time.  I  do  not  qare  to  tell  pre 
cisely  where  it  was  that  I  jumped 

1117752 


1 
6         John  Whopper  the  Neivsboy. 

over  the  fence ;  but  it  is  a  rough,  bar 
ren  kind  of  spot,  which  nobody  has 
ever  done  any  thing  to  improve. 

After  walking  about  a  third  of  a  mile, 
I  began  to  think  that  I  had  better  have 
kept  to  the  turnpike ;  for  I  found  that  I 
was  obliged  to  clamber  over  an  uneven, 
rocky  place,  among  trees  and  bushes  and 
shrubs,  that  grew  just  thick  enough  to 
bother  me,  so  that  I  hardly  knew  where 
to  put  my  feet.  All  at  once  I  lost  my 
balance,  and  felt  that  I  was  sliding  down 
the  side  of  a  smooth,  steep  rock ;  while 
underneath,  to  my  horror,  I  saw  what 
looked  like  a  circular  cave,  or  well,  some 
five  or  six  feet  in  diameter.  I  tried  to 
grasp  the  rock  with  my  hands,  and  ground 
my  heels  as  hard  as  I  could  against  the 
surface,  but  it  was  of  no  use;  down  I 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.  7 

slipped,  faster  and  faster,  until  at  last  I 
plunged,  feet  foremost,  into  the  dark  hole 
below.  For  a  moment  I  held  my  breath, 
expecting  to  be  dashed  to  pieces;  and 
oh,  how  many  things  I  thought  of  in  that 
short  minute !  It  seemed  as  if  every 
thing  that  I  had  ever  done  came  back  to 
me,  especially  all  the  bad  things ;  and 
how  I  wished  then '  that  I  had  lived  a 
better  life !  I  thought,  too,  of  my  poor 
mother  and  my  little  brother  and  sister  at 
home,  and  how  they  would  wait  breakfast 
for  me  that  morning ;  and  how  they  would 
keep  on  waiting  and  waiting,  hour  after 
hour  and  day  after  day;  and  how  the 
neighbors  would  all  turn  out  and  search 
for  me;  and  how  I  should  never  be 
found,  and  nobody  would  ever  know  what 
had  become  of  me.  And  then  I  wondered 


8         John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

whether  Mr.  Simpson,  who  employed  me 
to  distribute  the  papers,  would  suppose 
that  I  had  run  away  somewhere,  to  sell 
them  on  my  own  account ;  and  so  I  went 
on  thinking  and  wondering,  until  it 
seemed  as  if  there  was  no  end  to  the  time. 
And  yet  I  didn't  strike  the  bottom  of  the 
cave,  but  just  went  on  falling  and  falling, 
faster  and  faster,  in  the  darkness,  and 
sometimes  just  grazing  the  sides,  and  still 
not  so  as  to  hurt  me  much.  My  great 
trouble  was  to  breathe ;  when  it  occurred 
to  me  to  lay  the  sleeve  of  my  coat  across 
my  mouth  :  and  then  I  found  that  I  could 
breathe  through  the  cloth  with  tolerable 
ease.  After  a  while,  I  recovered  my 
senses ;  and  though  I  continued  to  fall 
on  still  faster  and  faster,  I  experienced 
no  great  inconvenience.  How  long  this 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.         9 

continued,  I  cannot  tell ;  it  appeared  to 
be  an  age ;  and  I  must  have  been  falling 
for  several  hours,  when  I  began  to  feel  as 
though  I  was  not  sinking  as  fast  as  I  had 
been ;  and  after  a  while,  it  seemed  as  if 
I  were  rising  up,  rather  than  tumbling 
down.  As  I  was  now  able  to  breathe 
much  more  freely  than  I  had  done,  I  be 
gan  to  think  calmly  about  my  condition ; 
and  then  the  thought  flashed  across  my 
mind,  that  perhaps  I  had  passed  the  cen 
tre  of  the  earth,  and  was  gradually  rising 
to  the  surface  one  the  other  side.  This 
gave  me  hope ;  and  when  I  found  that  I 
continued  to  move  slower  and  slower, 
I  tried  to  collect  my  faculties,  so  that  I 
might  know  just  what  it  would  be  best  to 
do,  if  I  should  be  so  fortunate  as  to  reach 
the  other  end  of  the  hole  into  which  I  had 


10      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

tumbled.  At  last,  looking  down,  I  saw 
a  little  speck  of  light,  like  a  very  faint 
star ;  and  then,  I  tell  you,  my  heart 
bounded  with  joy.  At  this  moment  it 
suddenly  occurred  to  me  that  it  would 
not  do  to  come  out  of  the  hole  feet  fore 
most;  and,  by  a  tremendous  effort,  I 
managed  to  turn  a  complete  summersault, 

—  what  the  boys  always  called  a  somerset, 

—  which,  of  course,  brought  me  into  the 
right  position.     How  thankful  I  felt  that 
I  had  been  taught  to  practise  gymnastic 
exercises  at  the  school  in  Roxbury  !     In 
my  present  attitude   I   couldn't   see   the 
bright  spot  any  longer  :  but,  before  long, 
I  perceived  that  it   was  growing  lighter 
around  me ;  and  I  was  confident  that  the 
time   of  my   release   drew   near.     I  had 
determined  exactly  what  I  would  do  when 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       11 

I  reached  the  surface  of  the  earth  again ; 
and,  accordingly,  on  the  instant  that  my 
head  came  out  of  the  hole,  I  grasped  the 
edge  with'  all  my  might,  and,  by  another 
terrible  effort,  swung  myself  up  into  the 
air,  and  leaped  upon  the  ground. 

It  is  impossible  to  describe  the  strange 
thrill  that  passed  over  me  when  I  thus 
found  myself  standing  on  what  I  knew 
must  be  the  eastern  side  of  the  globe. 
As  soon  as  I  had  fairly  recovered  the  use 
of  my  reason,  I  began  to  speculate  as  to 
the  region  of  the  country  into  which  I 
emerged.  If  I  had  come  directly  through 
the  centre  of  the  earth,  I  knew,  of  course, 
just  where  I  ought  to  be  ;  but  this  hardly 
seemed  possible,  considering  how  short  a 
time  it  had  required  for  my  journey.  It 
then  occurred  to  me  that  I  was  really 


12      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

unable  to  form  any  accurate  idea  of  the 
number  of  hours  that  had  elapsed  since  I 
left  the  soil  of  Massachusetts  ;  for,  before 
I  had  fallen  a  hundred  feet,  a  whole  age 
appeared  to  have  passed.  I  knew  that  it 
was  about  six  o'clock  in  the  morning 
when  I  started;  and,  on  looking  at  my 
watch,  I  found  that  it  had  stopped  at 
6.45,  owing,  as  I  afterwards  ascertained, 
to  the  influence  of  magnetic  currents  upon 
the  hair-spring. 

The  country  around  was  in  a  high  state 
of  cultivation,  except  in  the  immediate 
vicinity  of  the  spot  where  I  stood.  This 
was  rough  and  barren,  and  so  situated 
that  the  small  cavity  in  the  earth  from 
which  I  had  just  been  released,  would  be 
very  likely  to  escape  observation.  Think 
ing  that  it  might  be  important  for  me  to 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       13 

be  able  hereafter  to  identify  the  locality, 
I  took  a  careful  observation  of  its  general 
bearings,  and  twisted  together  a  few  of 
the  twigs  that  grew  near  the  hole,  but  in 
such  a  manner  as  would  not  be  likely  to 
arrest  attention. 

Striking  off  now  at  random,  I  soon 
found  myself  in  a  low,  marshy  region, 
covered  with  a  species  of  grain  unlike  any 
thing  I  had  ever  seen  before,  but  which  I 
concluded  must  be  rice ;  and  then  the 
thought  came  to  me,  that  very  probably  I 
was  in  China.  After  walking  for  an 
hour  or  two,  I  reached  a  rising  ground, 
and  saw  in  the  distance  an  immense  city 
on  the  water's  edge ;  which  from  its  posi 
tion,  and  resemblance  to  certain  pictures 
that  I  had  once  seen  in  Boston,  I  believed 
to  be  Canton.  Refreshing  myself  with 


14      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

some  fruit  that  grew  by  the  wayside,  I 
started  off  in  haste,  in  order,  if  possible, 
to  reach  the  city  before  nightfall.  Just 
as  the  sun  was  setting,  I  entered  what 
appeared  to  be  one  of  the  main  streets ; 
when,  tired  and  hungry  and  footsore,  I 
began  to  think  seriously  what  I  should  do 
to  procure  food  and  lodging.  Here  I 
was,  —  a  poor  boy  in  a  strange  land, 
unable  to  address  a  word  to  the  people 
around  me,  and  with  only  a  few  cents 
and  two  or  three  bits  of  paper  currency 
in  my  pocket,  that  could  be  of  no  value 
in  that  country.  What  was  I  to  do? 
Just  then  I  came  to  a  large  and  respect 
able-looking  building ;  and  over  the  door 
there  was  this  sign,  in  good  plain  char 
acters  :  — 
"  ENGLISH  AND  AMERICAN  COFFEE-HOUSE." 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       15 

Tears  of  joy  filled  my  eyes.  In  an 
instant,  I  said  to  myself,  "Your  fortune 
is  made,  old  fellow !  Here  you  have 
thirty  or  forty  Boston  newspapers,  not 
twenty-four  hours  old,  strapped  around 
your  neck ;  and  I  rather  think  they  will 
be  in  some  demand  in  Canton." 

With  a  light  heart  I  now  entered  the 
office  of  the  hotel,  and  threw  down  my 
bundle,  with  a  good,  black-leather  cover 
ing  around  the  papers,  so  that  it  looked 
like  an  ordinary  piece  of  luggage,  which 
gave  me  the  appearance  of  a  regular 
traveller;  then  called  for  a  room,  and 
ordered  supper.  It  was  true  that  I  had 
very  little  money  in  my  possession,  —  not 
enough,  certainly,  to  pay  my  bill  at  the 
hotel ;  but  no  questions  were  asked,  and  I 
gave  myself  little  concern  as  to  the  future. 


16       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

I  had  a  first-rate  appetite,  and  ate  vora 
ciously. 

After  supper  was  over,  I  took  my 
bundle  in  my  hand,  and  strolled  leisurely 
into  a  pleasant  and  spacious  room,  where 
a  number  of  gentlemen  —  English  and 
American  —  were  sitting  around  in  groups, 
some  chatting  together,  and  others  read 
ing  the  London  and  New  York  and 
Boston  papers.  Among  them  I  recog 
nized  the  face  of  a  merchant  whom  I  had 
seen  several  times  in  State  Street ;  and 
slinging  the  strap  over  my  shoulder  in  a 
careless,  every-day  sort  of  tone,  just  as 
any  newsboy  would  have  done  at  home, 
I  went  up  to  him  and  said,  "Have  the 
morning  papers,  Mister? — 'morning  pa 
pers?' —  'Advertiser,'  'Journal,'  'Post,' 
'Herald,'  last  edition,  —  published  this 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       17 

morning,  only  Jive  dollars!"  Everybody 
in  the  room  looked  up,  for  I  managed,  as 
newsboys  generally  do,  to  speak  loud 
enough  to  drown  every  other  sound ;  but 
no  one  uttered  a  word.  It  was  evident 
that  they  thought  I  was  crazy,  or  some 
thing  worse ;  and  so  I  just  cried  out 
again,  "Have  the  morning  paper,  sir?" 
at  the  same  time  thrusting  a  copy  of 
"The  Advertiser"  into  his  hand.  He 
looked  like  an  "Advertiser  "  kind  of  man, 
— well  dressed  and  highly  respectable. 

Involuntarily  his  eye  glanced  at  the 
date,  — "Tuesday,  Feb.  16,  1867";  and 
then,  in  an  excited,  quivering  tone,  he 
said,  "Let me  look  at  your  other  papers." 

There   was  a  long  table  in  the  centre  of 

I 

the    room,   which    It  approached;     and, 
slowly  unfolding  my  bundle,  I  laid  a  few 
2 


18       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

of  the  papers  wide  open  in  front  of  the 
gentlemen,  who  crowded  around  in  the 
highest  state  of  excitement.  Still  there 
was  dead  silence ;  when  one  of  them 
suddenly  burst  out  with  the  exclamation, 
"  Good  heavens  !  Here  is  a  notice  of  the 
arrival  of  *  The  Golconda '  at  New  York, 
with  a  full  account  of  the  cargo,  and 
every  thing  else  correct.  Why,  this 
must  be  genuine  ! " 

One  after  another  followed  with  a  cry 
of  surprise  at  some  news  which  they  had 
found ;  until,  in  a  few  minutes,  every  gen 
tleman  in  the  room  was  absorbed  in  read 
ing  the  papers,  appearing  to  have  entirely 
forgotten  all  about  me,  and  not  caring  to 
ask  how  it  was  that  I  had  brought  them 
to  China  in  less  than  twenty-four  hours. 
After  I  had  stood  there  whistling  carelessly 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       19 

as  long  as  I  thought  worth  while,  I  spoke 
up  in  a  loud  voice,  and  said,  "Well,  gen 
tlemen,  you  seem  to  be  enjoying  the  news 
pretty  well.  I  hope  you  don't  mean  to 
forget  to  pay  for  the  papers,  — only  Jive 
dollars  a  copy  I" 

At  this  speech  every  one  of  them 
looked  at  me  with  a  strange  expression, 
as  if  they  hardly  knew  whether  I  was  a 
real  human  boy  or  something  else ;  when 
the  Boston  gentleman  said,  "How  on 
earth  did  you  get  these  papers  here?" 
To  which  I  answered  very  carelessly, 
"I  didn't  get  them  here  on  earth." 

"What  do  you  mean?" 

"I  will  tell  you  what  I  mean,  and 
answer  your  questions,  after  you  have 
paid  me  Jive  dollars  each;  and  cheap  at 
that,  considering  " 


20       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

"  Indeed  it  is,  for  me  at  least,"  said  one 
of  the  gentlemen.  "  What  I  have  learned 
from  this  paper  is  worth  to  me,  in  a 
business  way,  thousands  of  dollars  " ;  and 
with  that  he  came  forward  and  put  a 
hundred  into  my  hand,  in  the  good,  solid 
form  of  gold-pieces.  His  example  had  its 
effect  upon  the  others.  Instead  of  the 
two  hundred  which  I  had  hoped  to 
receive  for  my  forty  newspapers,  I  was 
actually  in  possession  of  not  less  than  — 
well,  I  don't  care  to  tell  exactly  how 
much,  on  account  of  the  income-tax. 

"  Come,    now,"    said    the    gentlemen, 
almost  in  one  breath,  "  tell  us  how  these 
papers  came  to  China." 
"I  brought  them  myself." 
"When  did  you  leave  America ?" 
"  The  morning  when  these  papers  were 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       21 

printed :  but  how  long  ago  that  was,  I 
really  don't  know,  as  my  watch  stopped 
while  I  was  on  my  voyage ;  only  I 
thought  it  was  just  as  well  to  call  out,  as 
I  always  used  to  do  at  home,  'Morning 
paper ! '  although,  perhaps,  for  all  I  can 
tell,  they  may  be  two  or  perhaps  three 
days  old ;  anyhow,  I  guess  you  find  them 
a  good  deal  fresher  than  the  rest  you  have 
got  on  hand." 

Having  delivered  myself  of  this  some 
what  protracted  speech,  I  began  moving 
towards  the  door  with  the  air  of  one  who 
had  said  every  thing  that  could  reasonably 
be  expected,  in  reply  to  the  curious  in 
quiries  of  my  liberal  patrons,  when  the 

i 

Boston  merchant  motioned  for  me  to  stop, 
saying  with  some  severity,  "  Did  you  not 
promise  that  you  would  inform  the  com- 


22      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

pany  how  these  papers  came  from 
America  to  China  in  such  an  incredibly 
short  period  of  tune,  whenever  yor 
should  have  received  your  pay  for  the 
same  ?  " 

"Yes,  sir;  and  I  just  told  you  that! 
brought  them  over  —  not  exactly  over  — 
but  —  in  short,  I  brought  them  here." 

"You  say,  'not  exactly  over';  do  you 
mean  by  that  phrase  to  be  understood  to 
say  that  you  did  not  come  over  land?" 

"  Your  honor  has  hit  my  meaning  pre 
cisely." 

"You  don't  pretend  to  say  that  you 
came  by  water?" 

"Far  from  it,  sir." 

"How  then,  under  the  heavens,  did 
you  come?" 

"  I  didn't  come  under  the  heavens  at 
all." 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       23 

"I  don't  believe,"  said  the  irritated 
gentleman,  turning  to  his  companions, 
"•that  the  fellow  came  at  all ;  he  must  be 
lying." 

All  the  answer  that  he  received  was 
the  .rustling  of  forty  newspapers,  bearing 
the  imprint,  "February  16,  1867,  Bos 
ton."  There  was  no  getting  over  this. 

After  a  pause  of  several  minutes,  dur 
ing  which  a  bright  idea  entered  nay  mind, 
I  came  forward  into  the  circle,  and  said, 
"Well,  gentlemen,  I  want  to  see  if  I  can 
make  a  good  bargain  with  you;  and 
when  that  is  settled,  I  will  tell  you  how 
I  came  over — I  mean,  I  will  tell  you  how 
I  got  here ;  that  is,  I  will  tell  you  the 
route  that  I  took.  If  I  can  arrange  for 
the  delivery  in  Canton  of  the  New  York 
and  Boston  daily  papers,  within  thirty- 


24      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

six  hours  of  the  time  when  they  are 
issued  in  those  cities,  "will  you  all  promise 
to  give  me  your  generous  patronage?" 

"Of  course  we  will,"  they  cried  all 
together. 

"Very  well;  then  I  pledge  myself  to 
appear  again  in  this  place  one  week  from 
this  day,  ready  to  carry  out  my  part  of 
the  bargain.  And  now,  in  bidding  you 
good-night,  allow  me  to  inform  you  that 
I  came  from  America  to  China  by  the 
air-line" 

With  this  I  retired  at  once  to  my  room, 
and  was  soon  sleeping  soundly. 

I  knew  that  I  should  be  watched  so 
closely  the  next  day  as  to  make  it  impos 
sible  for  me  to  escape  without  detection ; 
and  accordingly  I  got  up  an  hour  or  two 
before  daylight;  and,  having  laid  upon 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       25 

the  table  in  my  room  an  amount  of  money 
which  I  supposed  would  be  considered  a 
fair  compensation  for  my  supper  and 
lodging,  I  tied  the  sheets  together,  and 
lowered  myself  down  into  the  then  silent 
and  deserted  street.  It  was  not  long 
before  I  found  myself  once  more  in  the 
open  country;  and  looking  carefully  for 
the  twisted  twigs  that  I  had  tied  together 
the  afternoon  before,  I  soon  discovered 
the  chasm  through  which  I  had  made  my 
remarkable  trip  to  the  eastern  hemisphere. 
Taking  the  precaution  to  tie  a  handker 
chief  over  my  mouth  in  order  that  I  might 
economize  my  breath,  I  summoned  all  my 
courage,  and  leaped  into  the  hole.  My 
experiences  were  precisely  the  same  as 
they  had  been  in  the  previous  journey ; 
and  in  course  of  a  few  hours,  I  found 


26      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

myself  standing  once  more  in  the  familiar 
outskirts  of  Roxbury,  and  gazing  ten 
derly  upon  the  solemn  dome  of  Boston 
State  House.  As  fast  as  my  legs  would 
take  me,  I  rushed  to  my  poor  mother's 
humble  abode,  longing  to  relieve  the 
bitter  agony  to  which  I  knew  she  and  my 
brother  and  sister  must  have  been  sub 
jected  during  my  absence.  It  is  not 
worth  while  for  me  to  describe  at  length 
the  scene  that  ensued  when  I  stood  once 
more  in  the  family  circle,  with  my 
mother's  arms  around  my  neck,  and  the 
young  folks  bellowing  with  joy.  To  the 
frantic  inquiries  that  were  showered  upon 
me  as  to  what  had  happened,  —  where  I 
had  been, — had  I  had  any  thing  to  eat? 
I  coolly  replied  that  I  had  not  had  much 
to  eat;  and,  if  they  would  give  me  a 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       27 

good,  substantial  supper,  I  would  en 
deavor  to  relieve  their  minds. 

"  Supper,  indeed  ! "  cried  my  good 
mother ;  "  why,  it's  just  after  sunrise ! 
You  haven't  lost  your  senses,  I  hope." 

"I  beg  your  pardon;  but  it  was  about 
sunrise  hours  and  hours  ago,  when  I  — 
when  I "  —  and  here  I  faltered,  not  caring 
just  then  to  let  the  whole  family  into 
my  secret. 

"  When  you  what  ? "  said  my  mother, 
looking  very  anxious. 

"Why,  when  I  left  Canton,"  I  now 
answered,  very  promptly. 

"  You  don't  say  that  you  have  been  to 
Canton?"  she  replied,  but  without  any 
such  show  of  astonishment  as  might  have 
been  expected. 

"Yes,  I  have,  mother.     It  occurred  to 


28      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

me  that  I  could  sell  my  papers  to  better 
advantage  there  than  I  could  about  here  ; 
and,  indeed,  I  did,  as  you  may  see." 
Whereupon  I  laid  in  her  good  old  hand 
such  a  sum  of  money  as  she  had  not 
clasped  for  many  a  day. 

"Did  you  get  all  this  money  by  selling 
papers  in  Canton  ?  " 

"  I  did,  and  a  great  deal  more ;  which 
I  am  going  to  deposit  by  and  by  in  the 
Savings  Bank  to  your  credit." 

"There  must  be  an  awful  demand  for 
papers  in  Canton." 

"There  is,  mother;  and  they  pay  such 
high  prices  there,  that  I  am  thinking  of 
setting  up  a  news  establishment  in  the 
place." 

"  And '  did  you  walk  all  the  way  to 
Canton  day  before  yesterday,  my  boy?" 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       29 

"Then  it  was  day  before  yesterday 
morning  when  I  left  home  ?  I  thought  it 
was  longer  ago  than  that." 

"Longer  ago  !  Oh,  dear,  dear  !  you  are 
not  out  of  your  head,  my  son?" 

"  My  good  mother,  I  am  as  sound  as 
you  are.  Only  you  know  that  some 
times,  when  we  are  very  much  occupied, 
the  time  passes  quickly ;  and  I  have  been 
quite  busy  since  I  left  you." 

"  And  did  you  say  that  you  walked  to 
Canton?" 

"  No,  mother,  I  didn't  walk  a  step." 

"  Then  you  took  the  Providence  cars  ?  " 

"  Well,  mother,  it  was  a  kind  of  a 
providence  car." 

[John's  statement  at  once  relieved  the 
old  lady's  mind ;  but  those  of  our  readers 
who  are  not  intimately  acquainted  with 


30      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

the  geography  of  Massachusetts,  may  be 
somewhat  puzzled  at  this.  For  the  in 
formation  of  foreigners  and  uneducated 
people  in  general,  we  must  mention  that 
there  is  a  thriving  village  on  the  Boston 
and  Providence  railroad,  about  ten  miles 
from  Roxbury,  which  rejoices  in  the 
name  of  Canton. 

It  may  here  be  observed,  that  the 
young  man's  mind  had  got  into  a  kind  of 
chronological  muddle,  and  the  days  and 
nights  were  mixed  up  together  in  the 
most  miscellaneous  manner.  We,  who 
are  competent  to  solve  any  ordinary 
problem,  furnish  our  young  readers  with 
this  explanation.  John  left  our  American 
soil  on  Tuesday  morning,  at  or  about  six 
o'clock.  He  is  twelve  hours  —  there  or 
thereabouts  —  passing  through  the  earth. 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       31 

This  brings  him  to  China  also  in  the 
morning,  as  every  thing  is  topsy-turvy  on 
the  other  side  of  the  globe.  His  walk  to 
Canton  fills  up  most  of  the  day,  —  Tues 
day  night  here.  He  sleeps  in  Canton  one 
night.  Wednesday  here;  leaves  Canton, 
via  Air-Line,  the  next  morning,  — 
Wednesday  night  here;  and  arrives  at 
Jamaica  Plain  on  Thursday  morning. 
Absent  from  home  forty-eight  hours ; 
twenty-four  consumed  in  travelling  via 
Air-Line  ;  twelve  in  pedestrian  excursion 
through  the  Kwangtung  country  in  China ; 
and  twelve  in  pecuniary  negotiations  and 
sleep  at  the  British  and  American  Coflee- 
House,  Canton.  This  makes  every  thing 
clear  and  consistent.  We  would  simply 
remark,  that,  when  John  first  told  us  his 
singular  tale  of  adventure,  we  remarked 


32       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

that  he  seemed  to  have  had  a  very  small 
allowance  of  food,  as  he  ate  but  one  good 
meal  in  the  whole  forty-eight  hours.  To 
which  he  replied  in  a  rather  lofty  man 
ner,  which  repressed  all  further  comment 
on  our  part,  that,  when  the  mind  was 
filled  with  great  thoughts,  it  didn't  re 
quire  much  to  sustain  the  body.  We 
should  like  to  take  John  as  a  boarder. 
But  he  is  now  on  his  feet  again,  and  we 
let  him  speak  for  himself.] 

"As  soon  as  I  found  myself  alone  with 
my  young  brother  Bob, — a  bright  fellow 
he  was,  and  quick  at  a  bargain, —  I  told 
him  in  strict  confidence  the  whole  story  of 
my  adventures,  and  then  laid  before  him  my 
plans  for  the  future,  in  carrying  out  which 
plans  I  should  need  his  co-operation. 

"  I   am   now   going,"  said  I,   w  to  Mr. 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       33 

Simpson's  office,  and  shall  pay  him  hand 
somely  for  the  papers  I  have  sold.  I  then 
propose  to  contract  with  him  for  the  New 
York  and  Boston  daily  papers,  paying  for 
six  months  in  advance,  to  be  delivered  to 
you  every  morning  at  half-past  five  o'clock 
precisely.  At  six  o'clock  you  will  drop 
the  bundle,  carefully  made  up  and  nicely 
secured,  as  I  shall  direct  Mr.  Simpson, 
right  through  the  centre  of  the  hole,  to 
which  I  will  direct  you  by  and  by, —  always 
being  very  careful  to  let  it  fall  from  your 
hand  at  a  height  of  four  feet  above  the 
surface  of  the  earth ;  in  which  case  it  will, 
of  course,  rise  just  four  feet  above  the 
surface  on  the  other  side,  and  I  shall  be 
able  to  secure  it  without  difficulty.  I  will 
pay  you  fifteen  per  cent  on  the  net  profits 
of  the  enterprise  for  the  first  six  months, 
3 


34      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

which  ought  to  be  regarded  as  a  liberal 
compensation  for  the  small  amount  of  time 
that  you  will  be  obliged  to  give  to  the 
work. 

"  Now,  Bob,  listen  to  what  I  am  about 
to  say  with  strict  attention.  On  every 
Saturday  morning  you  must  delay  drop 
ping  your  bundle  for  half  an  hour ;  and  be 
tween  six  and  half-past  six  o'clock,  be  on 
the  careful  lookout  for  a  bundle  which  1 
shall  send  to  you  from  the  other  side.  This 
will  contain  my  remittance  for  the  week, 
which  I  wish  you  to  deposit  to  mother's 
credit  hi  three  places,  the  names  of  which 
I  give  you  on  paper.  She  can  then  draw 
from  tune  to  time  such  sums  as  she  may 
need. 

"  I  shall  remain  at  home  for  a  few  days 
and  arrange  to  be  in  China  next  Monday 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       35 

evening.  On  Tuesday  morning  you  will 
forward  the  bundle  of  papers." 

"  Are  you  going  to  tell  mother  and  sister 
all  about  this?"  said  Bob. 

"  No  :  it  would  only  worry  them.  I  shall 
merely  say  that  I  have  a  great  opening  for 
making  money,  and  shall  be  obliged  to  be 
absent  from  home  for  several  months." 

"I  think,"  said  Bob,  chuckling, — Bob 
labored  under  the  delusion  that  he  was  a 
wag,  —  "that  it  is  a  great  opening,  or 
rather,  I  might  say,  a  lengthy  opening." 

Every  thing  was  duly  arranged  accord 
ing  to  the  programme ;  and,  on  the  fol 
lowing  Monday,  I  bade  adieu  for  a  while 
to  the  sweet  light  of  day, —  I  don't  mean 
that  I  said  exactly  these  words  as  I  stood 
on  the  edge  of  the  hole  —  but  that  is  the 
way  in  which  it  would  be  expressed  in  a 


36       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

book, —  and  jumped  boldly  into  the  dark 
abyss.  In  due  time  I  arrived  safely  in 
China,  and  took  lodgings  in  a  small  coun 
try  inn  about  two  miles  off,  as  I  did  not 
care  to  show  myself  at  the  Canton  Coffee- 
House  until  I  had  the  papers  in  my  pos 
session. 

It  was  with  a  somewhat  anxious  heart 
that  I  went  to  my  Air-Line  Station,  as  I 
had  taken  a  fancy  to  call  it,  on  Tuesday 
evening. 


CHAPTER  n. 

HOW  JOHN   GOT   INTO    TEOUBLE   IN   CHINA. 

~T~T  was  Tuesday  evening  in  good  old 
Massachusetts,  but  not  far  from  the 
break  of  day  in  China.  In  order  that  I 
might  be  more  sure  to  catch  the  bundle 
of  papers  on  its  arrival,  I  had  woven  a 
net-work  with  my  strong  twine,  and  se 
curely  fastened  it  to  a  stout  wooden  hoop. 
This  I  then  attached  to  a  pole  about  six 
feet  in  length,  and  stood  ready  to  swing 
the  net  under  the  package  as  soon  as  it 
came  within  reach.  The  hour  at  which  I 
had  calculated  that  the  bundle  ought  to 


38       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

come  in  sight,  provided  Bob  had  been 
prompt  to  the  time  that  I  had  prescribed, 
had  now  passed,  and  I  began  to  feel  ex 
cited  and  uneasy.  "  What  if  Bob  had  for 
gotten  to  hold  the  package  high  enough 
from  the  surface  when  he  dropped  it,  and 
so  the  momentum  had  not  proved  suffi 
cient  to  drive  it  clear  through  the  hole  ? 
What  if  it  had  struck  against  the  sides  of 
the  cavity,  and  so  the  friction  had  stopped 
it  on  the  way  ?  What  if  the  velocity  with 
which  it  must  have  fallen  during  the  first 
few  thousand  miles  had  torn  the  package 
in  pieces,  and  the  papers  had  been  left 
floating  about  in  the  centre  of  the  earth? 
What  if  Bob  had  been  taken  ill?" — just 
at  this  moment  my  fears  and  speculations 
were  arrested  by  the  sight  of  a  small 
white  object,  looking  like  a  flake  of  snow, 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       39 

away  down  the  hole,  hundreds  of  feet 
away,  as  it  seemed  to  me.  My  heart  al 
most  ceased  to  beat ;  the  white  object  was 
coming  nearer  and  nearer,  and  looking 
larger  and  larger  every  second.  But  it  is 
moving  slower  and  slower  all  the  time,  as 
if  it  was  nearly  tired  out !  Perhaps  it 
will  not  come  quite  within  reach  after  all  ? 
What  an  awful  disappointment  that  would 
be  !  No  !  it  doesn't  quite  stop  —  up  it 
comes  —  ten  feet  more  and  I  will  have  it ; 
five  feet  more  —  hurra  !  underneath  goes 
the  stout  net,  and  the  precious  bundle  is 
clasped  safely  in  my  arms. 

I  was  so  exhausted  by  anxiety  and  ex 
citement,  that  I  had  to  sit  down  for  a 
while,  that  I  might  recover  my  strength. 
I  really  do  not  think  that  I  was  half  so 
much  overcome  when  I  first  came  out  of 
the  hole  myself. 


40       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

And  now  for  the  city,  to  keep  my  ap 
pointment  with  the  gentlemen  at  the  Cof- 
fee-House.  I  had  hired  a  pony  to  carry 
me  to  Canton,  and  had  fastened  it  to  a  tree 
near  by ;  and  very  soon  I  was  galloping 
off  like  lightning.  About  ten  o'clock,  I 
reached  the  hotel ;  and,  after  stopping  for 
a  glass  of  water  at  the  office  to  clear  my 
throat,  I  entered  the  room  where  I  knew 
my  patrons  would  be  assembled,  and 
threw  my  bundle  down  upon  the  table. 

Every  man  there  started  to  his  feet ; 
but  such  was  their  surprise  at  my  appear 
ance,  —  for  not  a  soul  amongst  them  ever 
dreamed  that  I  would  keep  my  appoint 
ment, —  that  for  one  or  two  minutes,  as 
before,  not  a  word  was  spoken.  While 
they  all  stood  around  staring  at  me  as  if  I 
had  just  dropped  from  the  clouds,  I  pro- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       41 

ceecled  very  leisurely  to  untie  the  strings 
of  the  package ;  when,  with  a  simultane 
ous  movement,  my  eager  customers  rushed 
to  wards  the  table,  reaching  out  their  hands 
frantically  for  the  papers. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  I,  in  a  clear,  col 
lected  voice,  "before  proceeding  to  distri 
bute  the  mail,  allow  me  to  offer  a  few  brief 
remarks."  I  had  written  out  this  speech, 
and  committed  it  to  memory.  "  It  is  very 
natural  that  you  should  have  great  curios 
ity  to  know  by  what  means  I  have  man 
aged  to  redeem  the  pledge  that  I  gave  you 
a  short  time  ago.  In  the  presence  of  gen 
tlemen  so  enlightened  as  you  are,  I  hardly 
need  to  say  that  the  speedy  communica 
tion  which  I  have  been  enabled  to  make 
with  the  Western  world  is  effected  by  no 
supernatural  agency,  but  by  a  wonderful 


42      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

discovery  in  the  realms  of  nature,  the  pre 
cise  character  of  which  I  do  not  at  pres 
ent  consider  it  expedient  to  disclose. 
Let  it  suffice,  that  I  am  able  to  furnish 
you,  at  reasonable  rates,  with  the  latest 
intelligence  from  the  United  States  of 
America ;  and  I  wish  it  to  be  distinctly 
understood,  that  if  I  ever  have  reason  to 
suspect  that  my  movements  are  watched, 
or  that  any  efforts  are  made  to  detect  my 
secret,  from  that  time  my  contract  with 
you  is  at  an  end.  I  also  desire  to  stipu 
late  that  no  statement  of  my  transactions 
with  you  shall  be  allowed  to  find  its  way 
into  the  public  prints,  either  in  China  or 
America.  Let  the  whole  matter  remain  a 
profound  secret  between  us ;  your  own 
interest  will  be  consulted  by  this  as  well 
as  mine.  If,  indeed,  it  should  so  happen 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       43 

that  you  should  ever  see  any  remarkable 
and  novel  movement  in  the  heavens,  of 
course  I  cannot  hinder  you  from  forming 
your  own  impressions,  and  making  your 
own  deductions  from  the  phenomena. 

"And  now,  gentlemen,  every  morning 
between  ten  and  eleven  o'clock,  I  propose 
to  be  here  with  the  papers ;  price  one  dol 
lar  per  copy,  cash  on  delivery." 

The  bundle,  containing  one  hundred  pa 
pers,  was  immediately  disposed  of;  some 
gentlemen  taking  two  or  three,  and  others 
half  a  dozen. 

The  tongues  of  my  patrons  were  now 
unloosed,  and  they  all  acceded  unhesitat 
ingly  to  the  terms  which  I  had  proposed. 
An  elderly  Englishman,  with  a  very  white 
waistcoat,  and  a  very  large  watch-chain, 
came  up  to  me,  and,  patting  my  shoulder, 


44      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

said,  "  Why,  my  son,  you  have  done  bet 
ter  than  you  promised ;  you  have  given 
us  the  newspapers  in  much  less  than  thir 
ty-six  hours  after  their  issue  at  home." 

"Yes,  sir,"  I  replied;  "I  intended  to 
get  them  here  in  about  sixteen  hours  ;  but 
I  thought  it  more  prudent  to  say  thirty- 
six,  because  —  because  "  —  I  hardly  knew 
what  reason  to  give,  without  betraying 
myself — "because,  sir,  I  wasn't  certain 
how  the  magnetic  currents  might  operate." 

"Ah-hah-ah,  I  begin  to  see.  Magnetic 
currents  in  the  heavens,  in  the  atmos 
phere." 

"Yes,  sir,"  I  answered  promptly,  "in 
the  atmosphere" 

This  was  true  enough ;  but  I  could  not 
say  in  the  heavens,  without  telling  an 
untruth;  and  this  I  always  regarded  as 
a  great  sin. 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.      45 

"  Don't  you  think,"  continued  my  En 
glish  friend,  "that,  when  you  bring  the 
American  papers  over,  you  could  just  stop 
on  the  way,  and  get  a  copy  or  two  of 
'The  London  Times'?" 

"  I  do  not  go  for  the  papers  myself." 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  that  they  come 
entirely  by  themselves  ?  "  he  replied,  look 
ing  more  perplexed  and  astounded  than  I 
can  describe. 

"  Of  course  not,"  I  said,  breaking  into 
a  hearty  laugh.  "  I  have  a  partner  on  the 
other  side,  who  will  forward  them  to  me 
every  morning." 

"Then  they  do  come  of  themselves, 
after  they  are  once  started  ?  " 

"  Why,  yes,"  I  said,  feeling  a  little  em 
barrassed,  and  very  much  afraid  that  I 
might  commit  myself,  "after  the  proper 


46       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

impulse  and  direction  are  given,  they  do 
come  of  themselves." 

"But  how,  in  the  name  of  all  that  is 
marvellous,  after  the  package  gets  into 
the  right  magnetic  current,  does  it  manage 
to  alight  in  this  vicinity  ?  " 

"  That  is  easily  explained  by  the  laws 
of  gravity." 

The  attention  of  all  present  was  arrest 
ed  by  this  conversation,  and  I  began  to 
feel  that  I  was  getting  upon  dangerous 
ground. 

"  Excuse  me,  gentlemen,"  I  said,  taking 
hold  of  the  handle  of  the  door,  "  from  an 
swering  any  more  questions  at  this  time. 
My  mind  is  getting  a  little  confused ; 
and,  what  is  more,  I  am  very  hungry." 
Upon  which  I  retired  to  the  dining-room. 

Every  thing  went  on  successfully  during 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       47 

the  remainder  of  the  week ;  all  the  pack 
ages  arrived  safely  and  in  good  order, 
and  on  Friday  evening  I  was  ready  to 
remit  several  hundred  dollars  to  my 
brother.  At  the  same  time,  I  thought 
that  it  was  proper  for  me  to  write  a  few 
lines  to  my  good  mother ;  and  accordingly 
I  sat  down  and  made  out  quite  a  long 
letter,  which  I  enclosed  in  the  same 
bundle  with  the  money. 

On  Saturday  evening,  the  papers 
arrived  half  an  hour  later  than  usual, 
as  I  had  arranged  with  Bob ;  and  on 
the  wrapper  I  was  delighted  to  read, 
in  great,  scrawling  letters,  "All  right: 
money  and  letters  received" 

On  Sunday,  as  I  was  lying  in  my 
hammock,  and  thinking  of  home,  it 
came  to  my  mind  that  my  dear  mother 


48       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

had  probably  expected  me  to  pass  the 
day  with  her ;  and  then  for  the  first  time 
it  flashed  across  me,  that,  when  I  wrote 
her  on  Friday,  I  entirely  forgot  that 
she  supposed  me  all  the  while  to  have 
been  in  the  little  town  of  Canton,  on  the 
Boston  and  Providence  Eailroad.  "  "\Yhat 
on  earth,"  I  said  to  myself,  "will  she 
imagine  when  she  reads  my  letter?  I 
certainly  must  have  betrayed  myself.  I 
don't  remember  exactly  what  it  was  that 
I  wrote ;  but  there  must  have  been  some 
things  in  the  letter  that  will  lead  the 
poor  old  lady  to  suppose  that  I  am  crazy. 
Well,  perhaps  I  shall  know  more  about 
it  when  the  next  bundle  comes ;  and  I 
will  try  to  be  patient  until  then." 

The  next  morning  I  awaited  the  usual 
arrival  with  great  anxiety;  and,  as  soon 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       49 

as  the  package  came  into  my  hands,  I 
tore  off  the  outer  covering,  and,  to  my 
great  relief,  found  a  letter  in  my  mother's 
handwriting,  addressed,  — 

"  MASTER  JOHN  WHOPPER, 

CANTON,  MASS." 

It  read  as  follows  :  — 

ROXBURY,  March,  1867. 

Mr  DEAREST  JOHN,  —  I  was  very  much 
disappointed  that  you  did  not  come  home  to  pass 
the  Sabbath.  I  had  a  nice  dinner  all  ready  for 
you;  and  your  little  sister  cried  hard  when  she 
found  that  you  were  not  to  sit  down  with  us. 
We  were  all  very  glad,  however,  to  get  your 
letter;  and  I  am  thankful  that  you  have  been  so 
prospered  in  your  business.  I  had  no  idea 
that  you  would  be  able  to  make  so  much  money 
by  selling  papers  in  Canton:  they  must  be  a 
great  reading  community.  I  hope,  my  dear  son, 
that  all  is  made  honestly.  There  are  some 
things  in  your  letter  which  have  puzzled  me  a 


50      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

little,  and  I  do  not  know  that  I  exactly  under 
stand  all  that  you  say.  You  also  speak  of  visit 
ing  the  Joss-house  once  or  twice.  I  never  knew 
any  family  of  that  name:  only  I  happen  to 
remember,  that,  up  in  Manchester,  there  were 
quite  a  large  number  of  people  by  the  name  of 
Josslyn;  and  sometimes  the  boys  used  to  call 
them,  in  sport,  "  the  Josses."  It  is  not  a  good 
habit  to  give  nicknames  to  other  persons,  espe 
cially  where  you  visit  the  family.  You  also  speak 
of  their  burning  a  great  deal  of  colored  paper, 
and  a  great  many  scented  sticks  before  an  image. 
I  asked  Bob  what  he  thought  this  meant:  but 
he  jumped  right  behind  the  closet-door,  and 
made  the  most  extraordinary  noises  with  his 
mouth  that  I  ever  heard;  and  when  he  came 
out  again  his  eyes  were  full  of  tears,  and  he 
looked  as  if  he  had  had  a  fit.  "  Bob,"  said  I, 
"what  is  the  matter?"  "I  have  had  a  high- 
strike," — he  should  have  said  high-sterick, — 
"I  do  have  'em  sometimes."  "Kobert,"  I  said 
very  seriously,  "  what  do  you  think  your  brother 
means  ?  " 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       51 

"  Well,"  said  he,  « I  shouldn't  wonder  if  the 
Josses  had  a  bust  of  Daniel  Webster  or  Henry 
Clay  in  their  parlor,  and  perhaps  they  burn 
things  round  it  to  keep  off  the  flies."  Then  he 
began  to  laugh  again,  and  I  could  not  tell 
whether  he  was  in  earnest  or  not.  I  am  not 
very  much  pleased  to  hear  you  say  that  you  go 
out  in  the  afternoon  to  fly  kites  with  a  parcel 
of  old  mandarins.  I  think  that  you  might  find 
some  better  use  for  your  time;  and  I  am  afraid 
from  the  way  in  which  you  speak  of  them, 
that  these  old  mandarins  are  not  very  respecta 
ble  characters.  Your  brother  says  that  kite 
flying  means  speculating,  and  that  the  mandarins 
are  probably  brokers.  I  trust,  my  dear  boy, 
that  you  are  not  making  any  of  your  money  in 
this  way.  Who  is  this  Chim-jung-tsee,  who  is 
to  be  your  teacher?  It  is  a  very  strange  name 
for  a  Christian  to  be  called  by,  and  I  don't 
like  the  sound  of  it.  And  what  do  you  mean, 
when  you  say  you  want  to  learn  the  language 
so  that  you  may  be  able  to  talk  with  the  natives? 


52      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

I  never  stopped  in  Canton  but  once,  and  that 
•was  when  the  axle-tree  of  the  engine,  or  some 
thing  else,  broke  down.  There  were  a  good 
many  people  from  the  village  came  up  to  the 
depot  then;  and  I  heard  them  talk  for  more 
than  an  hour,  and  I  understood  every  word  they 
said.  I  am  almost  afraid  that  your  application 
to  business,  and  selling  your  papers  at  such  a 
profit,  is  turning  your  brain.  You  must  not 
work  too  hard,  and  you  must  be  careful  about 
your  diet.  I  shall  try  and  send  you  a  bundle 
of  doughnuts  next  week,  when  I  fry.  There 
is  something  in  your  letter  about  eating  rats  and 
birds'-nests,  and  other  horrible  things.  I  sup 
pose  that  you  intend  that  for  a  joke.  I  wish 
that  you  would  tell  me  where  you  pass  your 
evenings,  and  what  kind  of  books  you  are  read 
ing,  and  how  many  meeting-houses  there  are 
in  Canton,  and  Where  you  go  to  meeting.  When 
ever  you  have  to  stay  there  over  the  Sabbath, 
I  would  like  to  have  you  write  out  a  full  account 
of  the  sermons  that  you  hear.  We  all  hope  that 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.        53 

you  will  come  to  see  us  next  Saturday  night. 
Bob  says  that  you  are  so  busy  that  you  will 
not  be  able  to  leave;  and  that  you  have  to 
sit  up  all  night ,  and  then  sleep  in  the  day-time. 
Bob  and  Mamie  send  their  best  love.  I  will  send 
a  pair  of  socks  with  the  doughnuts.  Your  little 
sister  says,  "  Tell  brother  that  I  want  him  to 
bring  me  something  pretty  from  Canton." 
I  don't  know  but  she  thinks  you  are  away  off  in 
the  great  city  of  Canton,  in  China.  Write  as 
often  as  you  can  to 

Your  very  affectionate  mother, 

DEBORAH  WHOPPER. 

I  did  not  know  whether  to  laugh  or 
cry  when  I  had  read  the  letter,  and  so 
I  did  a  little  of  both.  I  could  not  bear 
to  think  that  my  mother  should  be  so 
deceived,  and  so  bewildered ;  but  it 
would  distress  her  sadly  if  she  really 
knew  where  I  had  gone,  and  how  I  got 


54       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

there.  I  had  some  doubts,  too,  whether 
she  would  be  able  to  keep  the  secret  long, 
for  they  worm  every  thing  out  of  her  at 
the  Dorcas  Society.  So  I  concluded  that 
I  would  write  her  another  letter,  at  the 
end  of  the  week,  which  wouldn't  give  her 
any  trouble.  Week  after  week  passed  by 
without  any  interruption  of  my  business  ; 
and  I  devoted  three  hours  every  day  to 
the  study  of  the  Chinese  language,  under 
the  direction  of  Chim-jung-tsee,  a  young 
Chinaman  who  spoke  pigeon-English  very 
well,  and  had  been  highly  recommended 
by  one  of  the  waiters  at  the  hotel.  He 
was  a  very  sleek,  smooth-spoken  fellow : 
the  top  of  his  shaved  head  shone  like 
a  billiard  ball,  and  his  tail  hung  four  feet 
and  a  half  from  his  shoulders.  I  didn't 
altogether  like  the  expression  of  his  eyes  ; 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.      55 

for  although  they  were  usually  turned  up 
at  the  outside  corners,  like  other  Chinese 
eyes,  sometimes  I  would  catch  him  with 
one  of  them  turned  down  at  the  corner, 
and  then  he  seemed  to  be  looking  at  me 
with  one  eye,  and  looking  out  of  the 
window  with  the  other.  His  nails  were 
longer  than  any  I  had  seen  in  Canton; 
and  he  usually  wore  stout  leather  cots  on 
the  ends  of  his  fingers,  to  protect  them 
from  injury.  I  never  knew  him  to  lose 
his  temper  but  once ;  and  that  was  when, 
just  for  the  fun  of  the  thing,  I  managed 
to  snip  off  an  inch  or  two  from  one  of  his 
nails  with  my  pen-knife.  From  that 
moment,  I  have  reason  to  believe  that 
he  became  my  deadly  foe.  He  couldn't 
have  made  more  of  an  outcry,  had  he  lost 
his  arm. 


56      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

One  day,  as  I  entered  my  room,  I 
found  the  young  man  carefully  study 
ing  a  copy  of  "The  New- York  Times," 
which,  contrary  to  my  custom,  I  had 
thoughtlessly  left  exposed  on  the  desk. 
After  the  hours  of  study  were  over,  he 
asked,  in  an  off-hand  kind  of  way,  how 
far  New  York  was  from  Canton.  I 
thought  it  likely  that  the  fellow  knew 
already,  and  therefore  I  did  not  hesitate 
to  tell  him.  He  then  took  up  the  New 
York  paper  again,  and,  looking  with 
great  care  at  the  date,  began  to  count 
his  fingers,  mumbling  something  to  him 
self  in  Chinese  which  I  could  not  under 
stand.  Nothing  more  passed  between  us 
on  the  subject ;  but  I  felt  from  that  day 
that  I  had  a  spy  upon  me.  I  did  not  like 
to  discharge  him  from  my  service,  be- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.      57 

cause  that  would  only  excite  him  to 
greater  mischief,  and  I  never  thought 
for  a  moment  of  taking  him  into  my 
confidence. 

One  Friday  morning,  just  as  I  had  fin 
ished  dressing,  there  was  a  loud  knock 
at  the  door  of  my  room ;  and  three 
Chinese  officials  entered,  who,  having 
first  tied  my  arms  behind  my  back,  and 
fastened  a  short  chain  to  my  ankles,  pro 
ceeded  to  search  every  nook  and  corner 
of  the  premises. 

The  evening  before,  I  had  fortunately 
converted  all  the  money  that  I  had  on 
hand  into  a  bill  of  exchange,  and  this 
was  concealed  about  my  person.  The 
great  object  of  their  search  appeared  to 
be  newspapers;  and,  after  rifling  my 
boxes  and  desk  of  every  thing  in  this 


58      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

form,  I  was  marched  off  into  the  street, 
without  a  word  being  said  by  my  captors. 
To  all  my  remonstrances,  the  only  reply 
that  I  got  was  the  holding  up  before  my 
'face  of  a  piece  of  yellow  paper,  with  a 
huge  green  seal  in  the  corner.  Without 
being  subjected  to  any  form  of  trial,  I 
was  taken  at  once  to  prison.  I  found 
myself  the  occupant  of  a  cell  about  ten 
feet  square,  with  one  window  secured  by 
an  iron  grating.  The  furniture  of  the 
cell  consisted  of  a  bamboo  chair,  a  small 
table,  and  a  low  bedstead.  I  was  glad 
to  find  that  every  thing  looked  neat  and 
clean.  I  remained  in  this  place  for  sev 
eral  days  in  utter  solitude,  except  when 
my  meals  were  brought  to  me ;  and  then 
all  that  I  could  get  out  of  my  attendant 
was,  "Me  no  talkee."  I  had  not  the 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       59 

slightest  doubt  who  it  was  that  had 
caused  me  to  be  imprisoned ;  and  I  de 
termined,  that,  if  Chim-jung-tsee  ever 
came  within  my  reach  again,  I  would  cut 
off  every  one  of  his  atrocious  finger-nails. 
As  I  lay  there  thinking  over  all  my  won 
derful  experiences,  I  could  not  but  feel 
sad  at  what  I  knew  must  be  Bob's  dis 
appointment,  when,  after  waiting  hour 
by  hour  for  my  package  to  arrive  on  Sat 
urday  morning,  nothing  appeared.  An 
ticipating  that  I  might  have  trouble  in 
China,  I  had  directed,  in  case  my  remit 
tance  did  not  reach  him,  that  he  should 
send  no  more  papers  through  the  hole, 
so  that  no  loss  would  occur  on  this  score ; 
and  I  knew  that  he  was  shrewd  enough 
to  keep  my  mother  and  sister  from  hav 
ing  any  undue  anxiety.  Then  I  fell  to 


60      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

wondering  whether  my  friends  at  the 
coffee-house  had  all  forgotten  me,  and 
how  they  managed  to  get  along  without 
their  papers.  I  soon  found  out  that  they 
had  not  quite  forgotten  me ;  although, 
for  obvious  reasons,  it  would  not  do  for 
them  to  interfere  with  the  authorities  in 
my  behalf. 

One  afternoon,  as  I  stood  looking  out 
from  my  window  upon  an  open  square, 
where  hundreds  of  people,  young  and 
old,  high  and  low,  were  amusing  them 
selves  by  flying  kites,  I  observed,  among 
the  monsters  that  filled  the  air, — drag 
ons,  griffins,  cormorants,  sharks,  and 
numberless  other  fantastic  shapes,  —  one 
kite  that  arrested  my  eye  and  fixed  my 
attention.  It  was  in  the  form  of  an 
American  eagle,  with  red  and  white 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       61 

stripes  on  the  wings,  and  brilliant  stars 
all  over  the  body.  From  the  peculiar 
movements  of  this  kite,  I  was  led  to  be 
lieve  that  it  was  an  omen  of  hope  for  me, 
and  that  whoever  held  the  string  intended 
to  do  me  a  service. t  In  the  course  of  half 
an  hour,  the  kite  was  floated  directly 
across  my  window,  and  I  saw  that  there 
was  a  paper  pinned  on  the  back.  As 
soon  as  it  came  within  reach,  I  thrust  my 
hands  through  the  bars,  and  in  an  instant 
tore  the  paper  off.  Unfolding  it,  I  found 
in  the  inside  three  steel-spring  saws,  and 
read  these  words  :  "  As  soon  as  you  have 
sawed  away  the  bars,  tie  a  white  rag  on 
the  grating.  On  the  first  evening  after 
this,  when  the  wind  is  favorable,  a  kite 
will  be  flown  to  the  window.  Pull  in  the 
string  very  carefully,  and  you  will  come 


62       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

to  a  larger  cord.  Keep  pulling  until  a 
rope-ladder  reaches  you.  Fasten  this 
securely  to  the  window,  and  follow  the 
ladder  down  over  the  wall.  You  will 
there  find  your  old  pony  fastened  to  a 
tree :  jump  on  and  be  off.  Strapped  on 
his  back  you  will  see '  a  can  of  condensed 
food  and  a  jar  of  water,  enough  to  supply 
you  for  some  days.  Success  to  you ! " 
This  paper  I  at  once  tore  into  small 
pieces,  and,  as  soon  as  it  was  dark,  threw 
the  fragments  out  of  the  window.  I  now 
went  to  work  with  a  light  heart  to  saw 
away  the  iron  bars,  preserving  the  filings, 
which  I  moulded  up  with  a  bit  of  bread, 
to  fill  the  gaps  that  I  made  with  my  saws 
in  the  grating,  in  order  to  avoid  detection 
in  case  the  room  should  be  examined. 
In  the  course  of  about  a  week,  I  had  cut 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       63 

through  the  iron  so  far  that  I  knew  it 
would  be  easy  with  one  good  wrench  to 
tear  away  the  grating ;  and  then,  with  a 
throbbing  pulse,  in  the  afternoon  I  tied  a 
piece  of  white  cloth  on  the  sash,  as  I  had 
been  directed.  That  night  there  was  not 
a  breath  of  wind,  and  I  knew  that  I  had 
no  hope  of  rescue  at  present.  I  tried  to 
sleep,  but  found  myself  constantly  rising 
up  and  listening  for  the  breeze.  The 
next  day  the  kites  were  flying  merrily ; 
and  among  them  I  saw  the  good  old 
eagle,  with  a  large  round  white  spot  on 
his  back,  which  I  interpreted  to  mean 
that  my  signal  had  been  discovered.  It 
seemed  to  me  that  the  sun  would  never 
set  that  evening,  and  I  was  in  mortal  fear 
that  when  it  did  the  wind  would  also  go 
down.  At  last,  the  shadows  of  night 


64      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

descended  upon  the  earth,  and  still  the 
breeze  blew  finely.  I  waited  at  the  win 
dow,  and  watched  with  all  my  eyes  until 
near  midnight,  when,  to  my  delight,  I 
saw  the  shadow  of  a  kite  coming  between 
me  and  the  stars.  With  one  quick, 
strong  pull  I  wrenched  the  grating  out, 
and  stood  with  my  head  projecting  from 
the  hole,  ready  to  catch  the  kite.  As 
soon  as  I  got  hold  of  it,  I  found  that 
there  were  two  strings  attached;  and  I 
was  careful  to  cut  only  one,  as  the  other 
was  probably  intended  to  remove  the 
kite,  and  pull  it  to  the  ground  again. 
After  hauling  in  the  twine  and  the 
stronger  cords  fastened  to  it,  I  found  the 
rope-ladder  in  my  grasp ;  and  in  a  very 
short  time  it  was  fastened  to  the  iron  bars 
below  the  grating  that  I  had  removed. 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       65 

At  the  same  moment,  I  felt  that  some  one 
at  the  other  end  was  hauling  the  ladder  in 
tight,  and  no  doubt  securing  it  below. 
Five  minutes  later  and  I  was  free  !  Not 
a  human  being  was  in  sight  as  I  stood 
once  more  on  the  earth  :  my  confederate, 
whoever  he  was, — now  that  every  thing 
was  accomplished  that  he  could  do,  — 
probably  thinking  it  was  safer  for  him  to 
be  out  of  the  way.  But  there  stood  my 
beloved  pony,  who  had  carried  me  so 
often  from  the  Air-Line  Station  to  Can 
ton  ;  and,  before  many  seconds  had 
passed,  he  was  making  the  sparks  fly 
under  his  feet  as  we  headed  for  the  old 
familiar  spot  in  the  country.  It  was  not 
necessary  for  me  to  guide  him ;  dark  as 
it  was,  the  pony  knew  the  way  well 
enough;  and  I  soon  reached  the  cavity, 
5 


66       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

through  which  I  hoped  to  visit  "  my  own, 
my  native  land,"  where  .people  are  not 
arrested  without  knowing  what  is  the 
crime  with  which  they  are  charged.  Re 
moving  the  jar » of  water  and  the  can  of 
food  from  my  pony's  back,  without  stop 
ping  to  think  why  I  did  it,  but  following 
a  sort  of  instinct. which  afterwards  saved 
me  from  perishing,  I  fastened  these  arti 
cles  on  my  shoulders  and  around  my 
waist ;  then,  sobbing,  threw  my  arms 
around  poor  pony's  neck,  and  with  a  pang 
bade  him  good-by.  He  flew  snorting 
away  to  his  stable,  where  I  have  no  doubt 
he  soon  found  comfort  in  a  quart  or  two 
of  rice  and  a  peck  of  oats. 

And  now,  strange  to  say,  although  I  had 
accomplished  the  journey  through  the 
earth  three  times  with  entire  safety,  I 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       67 

shrank  with  dread  from  the  thought  of 
jumping  once  more  in  the  dark  hole  be 
neath.  I  suppose  the  trials  which  I  had 
just  endured  had  unstrung  my  nerves, 
and  that  the  solemn  hour  of  the  night 
made  the  leap  seem  all  the  more  fearful. 
And  yet  through  I  must  go.  China  was 
not  the  place  for  me  to  remain  in  any 
longer ;  and  so  I  stepped  down  some  two 
or  three  feet  into  the  cavity,  and  stood 
upon  a  little  projection  of  rock,  feeling 
that  it  would  require  less  effort  to  drop 
from  this  place  downward  than  to  leap 
from  the  surface.  Seizing  the  projecting 
rock  with  my  hands,  I  then  let  go,  and 
down  I  went.  It  was  a  relief  to  find  that 
I  was  now  fairly  under  way ;  and  when, 
after  the  lapse  of  a  few  hours,  I  began  to 
see  daylight  brightening  around  me,  I 


68       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy* 

thought  that  all  my  cares  were  about  to 
end.  Brighter  and  brighter  it  grew,  and 
I  had  almost  reached  the  edge  of  the  hole, 
when,  to  my  horror,  I  found  that  the 
motion  of  my  body  was  ceasing  altogether. 
Could'  it  be  that  I  had  made  a  fatal 
mistake  in  dropping  from  that  inner  ledge 
on  the  other  side,  instead  of  jumping 
boldly  from  the  surface?  It  must  be 
so.  Oh,  what  a  fool  I  was !  I  might 
have  known  that  the  projectile  power 
would  not  be  sufficient  to  take  me  clear 
through !  What  will  become  of  me  ? 
For,  at  this  moment,  I  felt  myself  begin 
ning  to  sink  back  again  into  the  bowels  of 
the  earth.  And  there  through  the  long, 
long  hours,  I  swung  backwards  and 
forwards  like  an  enormous  pendulum, — 
every  tune  that  I  rose  and  fell,  with  a 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       69 

shorter  and  shorter  range, —  until  I 
stopped  in  equilibrium  at  the  centre  of 
the  earth.  The  sensation  of  absolute  rest 
was  more  terrible  than  motion.  There  I 
was  alive,  buried  deeper  than  any  other 
being  ever  was  before.  Was  there  any 
possible  way  in  which  I  could  extricate 
myself?  I  now  made  a  great  effort  to 
collect  my  thoughts,  and  give  to  this 
question  careful  consideration.  At  last,  a 
bright  idea  came  into  my  mind. 


CHAPTER    III. 

HOW  JOHN  WHOPPER   GOT   CAUGHT   EN   THE 
EARTH,  AND   THEN   GOT   OUT   AGAIN. 


idea  that  came  to  me  was  at  first 
very  vague  and  indefinite;  neither 
was  it  at  all  certain  that  my  plan  could 
be  carried  out.  It  had  been  suggested  by 
a  peculiar  sound  which  fell  upon  my  ear 
as  soon  as  I  became  stationary,  and  which 
had  continued  to  reverberate  through  the 
darkness  all  the  while.  As  I  had  been 
obliged,  while  in  China,  to  be  about  so 
much  at  night,  I  had  provided  myself 
with  one  of  those  compact  lanterns,  which 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       71 

can  be  folded  tip,  and  carried  in  the 
pocket,  with  a  good  supply  of  best  wax 
matches.  The  first  thing  to  be  done  was 
to  strike  a  light,  and  see  what  sort  of  a 
place  I  was  floating  in.  The  sensation  of 
floating  in  equilibrium  was  delightful  and 
soothing ;  and  yet  I  felt  that  it  would  be 
a  relief  to  touch  something  solid.  As 
soon  as  my  candle  lighted  up  the  cavity, 
I  saw  that  the  walls  of  my  strange  abode 
were  perforated  in  various  places  by 
holes,  some  of  which  were  large  enough 
to  admit  my  body.  Taking  my  cap  from 
my  head,  I  found  that  by  waving  it  in  the 
air  I  could  readily  waft  my  body  in 
whatever  direction  I  chose ;  and,  in  less 
than  a  minute,  I  found  myself  comfortably 
seated  in  the  largest  and  most  convenient 
of  these  cavities.  I  now  felt  the  need  of 


72      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

food  and  drink ;  and,  before  proceeding 
to  do  any  thing  else,  I  opened  one  of  the 
cans  of  concentrated    meat,  and  with  a 
glass  of  water  from  the  jar  which  I  had  so 
fortunately    brought  with    me,    I    made 
quite  a  nice  meal.     With  all  the  burden 
that  weighed  upon  my  mind,  I  could  not 
help  smiling  when  I  thought  that  I  was 
the  only  person  that  had  ever  dined  in 
that  particular  locality.     After  dinner,  I 
stretched  myself  out,  and  took   a  good 
long  sleep.     At  last  I  awoke  as  bright  as 
a  lark,    and  began  to   explore   the    sur 
rounding  region.     The  point  that  I  wished 
particularly  to  determine  was  this  :   What 
is  the  cause  of  the  low,  grinding  sound 
that  I  continually  hear?   and  from  what 
locality    does     it    proceed?      Upon    the 
answer  to   these  questions  depended   all 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       73 

my  hopes  of  escape.  Strapping  the  jar 
and  cans  securely  about  me,  I  thought  that 
I  would  try  to  penetrate  the  orifice  which  I 
had  entered ;  but,  as  soon  as  I  got  upon 
my  feet,  the  slight  muscular  effort  that  I 
made  in  walking  lifted  me  again  into  the 
air,  and  I  found  myself  once  more  in 
equilibrium.  At  first  this  discouraged 
and  perplexed  me  ;  but  observing  that  I 
could  propel  myself  with  the  greatest  ease 
by  just  fanning  the  air,  as  before,  with  my 
cap,  I  concluded  that  this  was  a  very 
easy  as  well  as  rapid  mode  of  locomotion. 
As  I  advanced  farther  and  farther  into  the 
cavity,  I  found  that  the  grating  noise,  to 
which  I  have  alluded,  grew  louder  and 
more  distinct;  and  after  moving  along, 
perhaps  about  two  miles,  I  came  in  sight 
of  an  immense  cylinder,  the  size  of  which 


74      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

it  was  impossible  for  me  to  estimate,  as  I 
could  see  only  a  small  section  of  the  sur 
face.  Floating  on,  I  laid  myself  along 
side  of  the  great  tube,  and,  taking  my 
knife  from  my  pocket,  tapped  the  cylinder 
several  times,  and  found  that  it  was  com 
posed  of  some  very  hard  and  resonant 
metal,  entirely  unlike  any  thing  that  I  had 
ever  seen  before.  It  was  of  a  bright 
vermilion  color,  highly  polished  in  cer 
tain  places,  and  somewhat  rough  and 
honey-combed  in  others.  From  the 
vibration  that  came  when  I  struck  it  with 
my  knife,  I  inferred  that  it  must  be 
hollow.  I  only  needed  to  try  one  further 
experiment,  in  order  to  be  satisfied  that 
my  suspicions  and  hopes  as  to  the  nature 
of  this  cylinder,  and  the  cause  of  the 
peculiar  sound  that  I  had  heard,  and 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       75 

which  now  reverberated  loudly  on  every 
side,  were  correct.  Observing  that,  at 
a  point  not  far  off,  the  cylinder  came 
almost  in  contact  with  the  wall  that 
surrounded  it,  I  approached  the  spot, 
and  stuck  two  red  wafers,  one  on  the 
cylinder,  and  the  other  directly  opposite 
to  it  on  the  wall,  with  a  distance  of  not 
more  than  an  inch  between  them.  I 
would  here  observe,  in  explanation  of  my 
happening  to  have  these  wafers  about  me, 
that  they  still  continued  to  be  used  in 
China,  and  I  generally  carried  half  a 
dozen  or  more  about  me  in  a  stiff  envelope. 
Now  came  the  crisis  of  my  destiny !  If 
the  relative  position  of  the  wafers 
remained  for  an  hour  unchanged,  there 
was  no  hope  for  poor  John  Whopper. 
With  my  watch — which,  by  the  way,  I 


76      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

had  protected  against  the  disturbance  of 
the  magnetic  currents  by  a  compensation 
balance  —  in  my  hand,  I  gazed  earnestly 
and  anxiously  upon  the  two  wafers. 
Fifteen  minutes  passed.  In  this  time, 
the  earth  had  revolved  one  ninety-sixth 
part  of  its  daily  course,  and  the  inhabi 
tants  on  the  surface  had  travelled  two 
hundred  and  fifty  miles.  If  my  hopes 
are  well  founded,  it  is  hardly  time  yet  for 
me  to  perceive  any  change  in  the  two  red 
spots  upon  which  my  gaze  is  fixed.  A 
half  hour  slowly  passes.  I  do  believe 
that  the  wafers  are  not  directly  opposite 
to  each  other  !  let  me  wait  a  little  while 
longer,  that  I  may  be  certain.  There  is 
no  mistake  about  it, —  the  right  edge  of 
one  wafer  just  touches  the  left  edge  of  the 
other.  Eureka  1  Hurrah !  I  am  right. 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.       77 

I  am  right.  This  big  cylinder  is  the  axis 
of  the  earth,  fixed  and  immovable ;  and 
these  huge  walls  are  revolving  round  it. 
There's  a  discovery  to  make  a  man 
immortal !  What  fools  the  old  geog 
raphers  were  that  used,  to  say, — "  the 
axis  is  an  imaginary  line,  running 
through,"  etc.,  etc.  The  name  of 
Whopper  will  now  be  heralded  to  all 
coming  generations  with  the  names  of 
Bacon  and  Newton  and  La  Place  and 
Humboldt,  and  all  the  rest  of  them ! 
Fame,  with  her  great  silver  trumpet  — 

"  Stop,  my  boy,"  I  imagine  the  impa 
tient  reader  is  now  saying.  "You  had 
better  get  out  into  daylight  before  you 
crow  so  loud;  we  don't  see  how  your 
great  discovery  is  going  to  help  you  to  do 
that."  I  presume  not ;  but  you  will  see, 
if  you  are  only  patient. 


78      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

I  now  reasoned  thus  with  myself :  "  If 
the  axis  of  the  earth  is  hollow, —  about 
which  I  have  no  doubt, —  and  open  at 
both  ends, —  inasmuch  as  it  is  winter  at 
the  south  pole  when  it  is  summer  at  the 
north,  and  vice  versa, —  there  must  always 
be  a  strong  current  of  air  passing  through 
it, — the  cold  air  of  one  extreme  rushing 
into  the  warmer  region  at  the  opposite 
pole.  I  have,  tjien,  only  to  find  some 
way  of  introducing  my  body  into  the 
interior  of  this  axis ;  and,  by  taking 
advantage  of  the  current,  I  shall  soon  be 
able  to  see  daylight  again." 

The  next  thing,  therefore,  to  be  done 
was  to  find  out  whether  it  would  be 
possible  for  me  to  get  inside  the  cylinder. 
I  had  observed,  that  in  some  places  the 
metal  of  which  it  was  composed,  showed 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       79 

the  appearance  of  being  honey-combed ; 
and  this  gave  me  some   encouragement. 
I  now  crawled,  or  rather  swam,  about  the 
surface  of  this  cylindrical  mass  of  metal, 
and  soon  found  an  orifice  large  enough  for 
me  to  thrust  in  my  hand  and  arm  up  to 
the   elbow.     True   enough,  there    was  a 
strong  draught  in  there,  so  strong  that  it 
seemed  as  if  my  arm  would  be  wrenched 
from  the  socket.     Every  doubt  and  diffi 
culty  were  now  removed,  if  I  could  only 
find  a  hole  in  the  cylinder  three  feet  in 
diameter ;    and  after  an  hour's  search,  I 
lighted  upon  just  what  I  wanted, —  a  good 
smooth    opening,    and    somewhat    larger 
than  was  actually  needed  to  pass  my  body 
through.     This,  however,  was  fortunate, 
because   I  must  have   space    enough   to 
project  myself  with  some  force  from  the 


80      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

orifice,  or  I  might  strike  the  side  of  the 
cylinder,  and  be  dashed  into  fragments. 
Every  thing  was  now  ready :  nerving 
my  whole  system  for  the  terrible  effort 
and  the  frightful  risk,  I  sprang  with  all 
my  might  into  the  axis  of  the  earth. 
After  what  I  had  experienced  when  I  put 
my  arm  into  the  cylinder,  I  expected,  of 
course,  as  soon  as  my  whole  body  was 
thrown  in  there,  that  I  should  undergo 
the  terrible  sensation  of  being  whirled 
upward  by  a  tornado.  Instead  of  this,  to 
my  astonishment,  the  moment  that  I  had 
cleared  the  orifice  through  which  I  jumped 
I  felt  as  though  I  were  floating  stationary 
in  the  air.  Could  it  be  that  I  was  de 
ceived  in  regard  to  the  existence  of  the 
current?  This  could  hardly  be:  it  was 
not  possible  that  I  was  stationary,  for 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       81 

the  hole  through  which  I  leaped  had  van 
ished  in  a  flash.  It  then  for  the  first 
time  occurred  to  me,  that  being  in  the 
current,  and  as  it  were  a  part  of  the  cur 
rent,  moving  in  it  and  with  it  without  any 
resistance,  it  was  impossible  for  me  to 
tell  whether  I  was  advancing  or  not ;  and 
then  I  remembered  how  men  that  went 
up  in  balloons,  after  they  had  lost  sight 
of  the  earth,  could  not  perceive  whether 
they  were  in  motion  or  at  rest ;  and  how 
our  teacher  at  the  Eoxbury  school  used 
to  explain  the  fact  that  we  were  not 
conscious  of  the  rotation  of  the  globe  on 
which  we  stood,  upon  the  same  principle. 
"When  I  thought  of  all  this,  I  broke  into 
a  loud  laugh,  and  for  a  long  time  I  could 
hear  the  echoes  thundering  through  the 
cylinder. 


82       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

I  cannot  say  how  glad  I  felt  that  my 
journey  through  the  axis  of  the  earth 
occurred  at  that  period  of  the  year  when 
the  current  set  from  the  south  to  the 
north.  The  prospect  of  safety  if  I  were 
to  be  discharged  from  the  south  pole, 
would  be  slight  indeed;  but  familiarity 
with  the  writings  of  various  explorers  in 
the  Arctic  regions  gave  me  the  very  natu 
ral  feeling  that  I  should  be  in  a  measure 
at  home  in  that  part  of  the  world. 

The  absence  of  any  sense  of  motion, 
with  the  quietness  and  darkness  that  sur 
rounded  me,  began  to  induce  a  feeling 
of  weariness ;  and  I  thought  that  I  should 
like  to  see  how  it  looked  where  I  was  ;  so 
I  lighted  my  lantern,  which  I  had  extin 
guished  when  I  leaped  into  the  axis,  when 
the  most  dazzling  and  marvellous  sight 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       83 

burst  upon  my  view.  I  found  that  I  was 
not  very  far  from  the  side  of  the  cylinder, 
which  was  polished  —  probably  by  the 
constant  friction  of  the  swift  current  pass 
ing  through  it  —  so  that  it  glistened  like 
a  diamond,  only  it  was  of  one  uniform 
vermilion  hue.  Reflected,  as  in  a  fiery 
mirror,  I  caught  an  occasional  glimpse  of 
myself,  magnified  to  a  gigantic  size  by 
the  concave  form  of  the  cylinder,  and 
elongated  in  the  most  remarkable  man 
ner  by  the  rapidity  with  which  I  shot  by 
the  surface ;  and,  after  this,  I  had  no 
further  doubts  as  to  whether  I  was  moving 
on  or  standing  still.  I  next  amused  my 
self  by  making  all  sorts  of  uproarious 
sounds,  which  were  repeated  up  and 
down,  and  back  and  forth,  from  the 
metallic  walls,  until  I  was  somewhat 


84       John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

frightened  at  the  cries  I  made ;  for  it 
seemed  as  if  fifty  wild  demons  were  shout 
ing  and  yelling  around  me.  There  are 
some  of  my  readers  who  will  remember 
the  old  chemical  chimney  in  Roxbury,  and 
what  strange  sounds  were  heard  there 
when  the  boys  stood  below,  laughing  and 
talking.  What  I  now  heard  recalled 
most  vividly  all  those  experiences.  To 
soothe  my  mind  a  little,  I  then  took  a 
jews-harp  from  my  pocket  and  played  the 
"  Star-spangled  Banner."  The  effect  was 
beautiful  and  almost  magical,  and  I  sank 
at  once  into  a  delicious  reverie. 

But,  as  the  time  drew  near  when  I 
supposed  that  I  might  expect  to  emerge 
from  my  present  position,  I  began  to  feel 
anxious  as  to  what  would  become  of  me 
when  I  came  out.  I  anticipated,  of  course, 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.         85 

that,  moving  at  such  a  fearful  rate,  I  must 
expect  to  shoot  up  rather  high  in  the  air ; 
and  the  question  was,  where  I  should 
probably  land.  If,  as  is  generally  sup 
posed,  it  is  a  clear,  open  sea  at  the  pole, 
I  shall  not  land  at  all,  but  come  down 
into  the  water.  In  this  case,  I  am  inev 
itably  lost :  but  still  my  faith  was  not 
shaken;  after  all  that  I  had  endured,  it 
did  not  seem  likely  that  I  should  be  left 
to  perish  in  the  sea.  I  could  do  nothing 
but  trust  and  wait. 

In  process  of  time  the  light  began  to 
steal  in  upon  the  darkness,  and  I  knew 
that  another  crisis  was  approaching,  — 
the  most  trying  and  formidable  that  I 
had  been  called  to  encounter.  And, 
shortly,  out  I  went,  high  up  in  the  air,  — 
higher  —  higher, —  until  I  thought  that  I 


86       John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

should  never  come  down  again.  But, 
after  a  time,  I  felt  that  I  was  descend 
ing  ;  and  the  fear  came  upon  me  that  I 
might  tumble  back  once  more  into  the 
axis  of  the  earth.  If  I  had  reflected  a 
moment,  I  might  have  perceived  that  this 
would  be  impossible;  for,  as  soon  as  I 
had  sunk  from  my  elevation  down  to  a 
point  not  more  than  a  hundred  feet  from 
the  end  of  the  pole,  I  met  the  swift  cur 
rent  of  air  rushing  out,  and  was  once 
more  hoisted  up  in  the  clouds.  This  was 
repeated  several  times  over ;  and  I  found 
myself  in  the  condition  of  a  cork  ball, 
sustained  in  the  air  by  a  stream  of  water 
from  a  fountain.  It  is  a  little  odd,  that 
at  this  tune  there  came  to  my  mind  a 
vivid  recollection  of  such  a  cork  ball  that 
I  used  to  see  tossing  about  in  front  of  the 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       87 

hotel  that  formerly  stood  at  the  corner  of 
Tremont  and  Boylston  streets,  in  Boston. 
At  last  it  occurred  to  me,  that  if  at  the 
tune  when  I  had  nearly  reached  the  high 
est  point  of  my  ascent,  and  therefore  must 
be  moving  very  slowly,  I  should  fan  the 
air  with  my  cap,  as  I  did  before,  it  might 
waft  me  out  of  the  line  of  the  north  pole ; 
and  that  I  might  as  well  come  down  into 
the  sea  and  be  drowned,  as  to  keep  on 
bobbing  up  and  down  in  this  way  forever. 
The  experiment  was  successful;  and  the 
next  time  that  I  descended,  I  came  gently, 
not  into  the  water,  but  into  a  soft  yielding 
drift  of  snow,  which  entirely  broke  the 
force  of  my  fall. 

I  felt  sure  now  that  all  was  light ;  and, 
scrambling  out  of  the  snow,  I  looked 
about  to  see  where  I  was.  All  around, 


88      John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

in  every  direction,  there  was  an  open  sea 
extending  to  the  horizon ;  and  it  was  evi 
dent  that  I  had  lighted  upon  an  iceberg, 
which  had  floated  northward  from  a  more 
southern  region.  After  I  had  refreshed 
myself  with  a  little  food,  I  proceeded  to 
explore  the  frozen  island,  of  which  I  had 
so  unexpectedly  become  the  sole  pro 
prietor. 

I  am  afraid  that  some  of  my  readers 
may  think  that  there  is  a  tone  of  exagger 
ation  in  my  story  as  I  proceed  to  narrate 
what  I  found  there.  Thus  far,  it  must 
be  allowed  by  all  that  I  have  kept  within 
range  of  possibility,  if  not  of  probability  ; 
I  have  been  careful  to  explain  minutely 
and  scientifically  just  how  every  thing 
came  about ;  and  if  it  should  ever  become 
as  familiar  a  thing  to  travel  through  the 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.      89 

earth  as  it  is  now  to  shoot  over  its  surface 
on  railroads,  and  send  messages  instanta 
neously  from  one  end  of  the  world  to  the 
other,  this  narrative  will  not  sound  so 
very  strange  after  all.  But  in  telling 
what  I  found  on  the  iceberg,  and  what 
happened  to  me  there,  I  may  have  to  tax 
somewhat  the  credulity  of  my  readers. 


CHAPTEE   IV.  AND   LAST. 

HOW   JOHN  WHOPPEE   GOT    ALONG   AT    THE 
NOKTH    POLE. 

~T~  SHALL  now  give  the  general  result 
-*-  of  an  exploration  of  the  iceberg, 
which  occupied  me  for  several  days.  I 
use  the  word  day  in  the  ordinary  sense,  as 
indicating  a  period  of  twenty-four  hours  ; 
although,  during  my  stay  in  the  arctic 
region,  the  daylight  was  perpetual.  This 
frozen  island,  which  was  to  be  for  a  time 
my  habitation,  extended,  so  far  as  I  could 
judge,  over  an  area  of  about  five  hundred 
acres ;  but  there  were  certain  marks  about 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       91 

the  surface  and  cleavages  on  the  sides, 
which  indicated  that  it  was  originally  of 
much  greater  size.  It  was  also  very  evi 
dent  that  it  had  assumed  its  form,  and  been 
detached  from  the  shore,  at  some  point  on 
the  coast  many  degrees  remote  from  its 
present  position,  and  had  then  been  driven 
towards  the  pole  by  some  extraordinary 
current  into  which  it  had  happened  to  fall. 
At  some  former  period,  this  iceberg 
must  have  floated,  or  been  stationary,  in 
a  region  where  game  abounded  and  birds 
were  plenty ;  where  vessels  sailed,  and 
where  vessels  were  wrecked ;  and,  when 
it  was  launched  from  the  shore,  it  carried 
off  with  it  not  less  than  an  acre  of  good, 
rich  loam,  —  the  effect,  probably,  of  a 
land-slide  in  the  vicinity.  It  will,  I 
think,  be  seen  that  it  is  only  upon  this 


92       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

general  supposition,  that  we  can  account 
for  what  I  found  there.  I  may  here  ob 
serve,  before  proceeding  further,  that, 
while  on  three  sides  the  walls  of  the  berg 
rose  almost  perpendicularly  out  of  the 
sea,  yet  on  the  remaining  side  there  was 
quite  an  easy  and  gradual  slope  down  to 
the  water;  and  this  may  also  serve  to 
explain  how  some  of  the  things  that 
I  found  on  the  island  were  thrown  or 
lifted  there. 

The  food  that  I  had  brought  with  me 
from  Canton  was  soon  exhausted ;  and  the 
first  great  want  that  I  experienced  was 
the  means  of  keeping  my  soul  in  my  body. 
In  the  deep  crevices  of  the  ice,  I  found 
places  where  I  could  manage  in  a  meas 
ure  to  shelter  my  body  from  the  cold 
while  I  slept ;  but  what  reasonable  pros- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       93 

pect  had  I  of  finding  food  in  this  forlorn 
spot  ?  I  now  began  to  feel  the  pangs  of 
hunger;  but,  instead  of  yielding  to  de 
spair,  with  a  stout  heart  I  determined  to 
search  the  region  thoroughly,  and  see  if 
a  kind  Providence  had  not  made  some 
provision  for  my  wants.  After  roaming 
about  for  a  while,  my  foot  struck  upon  a 
little  keg,  partially  embedded  in  the  ice ; 
and,  to  my  joy,  I  read  the  mark  on  the 
top,  "Bent's  Hard  Crackers,  Milton, 
Mass."  It  took  me  hardly  a  minute  to 
kick  it  open ;  and  there  the  crackers  lay, 
as  sound  and  sweet  as  when  they  were 
first  packed.  I  do  not  know  exactly  how 
many  I  ate,  but  I  should  say  not  much 
over  fifteen.  The  keg  was  then  put  in  a 
safe  place,  where  I  should  be  certain  to 
find  it  by  and  by.  In  the  course  of  the 


94      John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

forenoon,  I  came  upon  a  frozen  bear ;  and 
I  also  found,  in  the  same  vicinity,  plenty 
of  old  barrel-staves,  and  broken  hoops, 
and  other  pieces  of  wood,  great  and  small, 
which  I  laid  in  a  heap  upon  the  earth. 
"Now,"  said  I,  "we  will  have  a  bit  of 
roast  meat  for  dinner,  with  a  few  toasted 
crackers  for  dessert."  Before  two  o'clock, 
I  had  a  bright  fire  burning,  and  a  delicate 
slice  of  the  bear  roasting  before  it. 

The  next  thing  to  be  done  was  to  strip 
the  bear  of  his  skin ;  but  this  I  found  to 
be  a  difficult  task.  It  had  been  a  tough 
job  to  cut  out  with  my  jack-knife  the  fro 
zen  slice  of  meat  upon  which  I  had  just 
dined ;  and  it  was  impossible  to  strip  off 
the  skin  without  tearing  it  in  pieces.  A 
bright  thought  now  occurred  to  me,  and 
I  proceeded  to  kindle  a  fire  all  around  the 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       95 

animal ;  and  when  the  heat  had  become 
strong  enough  just  to  loosen  the  hide 
from  the  carcass,  I  went  to  work,  and,  in 
an  hour  or  two,  had  a  nice  warm  robe  to 
wrap  myself  in  at  night.  At  the  same 
time  I  extinguished  the  fire,  as  I  did  not 
care  to  cook  the  entire  bear  all  at  once. 

My  jar  of  water  gave  out  the  day  that  I 
was  dropped  upon  the  berg ;  and  at  first 
I  thought  that  I  could  quench  my  thirst 
by  eating  small  bits  of 'ice,  but  I  soon 
found  that  this  only  increased  the  diffi 
culty.  I  then  remembered  to  have  read 
in  a  magazine,  that  the  amount  of  caloric 
taken  out  of  the  system  in  order  to  melt 
the  ice  in  one's  mouth  was  so  great  as  to 
only  increase  the  feeling  of  thirst.  All 
anxiety,  however,  on  this  point  was  soon 
at  an  end;  for  the  sun  was  now  hot 


96       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

enough,  for  an  hour  or  two  at  noon,  to 
melt  a  sufficient  quantity  of  the  loose 
snow  in  certain  localities  to  furnish  all 
the  water  that  I  needed. 

With  my  bear-meat  and  Bent's  crack 
ers  for  food,  and  my  bearskin  for  a  blan 
ket,  I  might  now  be  considered  for  the 
present  as  above  the  reach  of  absolute 
want ;  and  still  it  is  not  to  be  supposed 
that  I  was  in  a  very  contented  and  happy 
frame  of  mind.  I  was  very  thankful  for 
all  the  mercies  that  I  had  received ;  and, 
when  I  looked  back  upon  all  the  wonder 
ful  deliverances  that  I  had  experienced,  I 
could  not  help  feeling  confident  that  all 
would  go  well  with  me  hereafter.1 

1  It  will  probably  occur  to  the  reader,  that  some 
one  of  Johnny's  adult  friends  has  touched  up  the 
style  a  little  along  here.  J.  W.  says  that  this  is 
true. 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.       97 

But  the  great  want  that  I  felt  was  a 
home,  or  at  least  something,  —  some  hut 
or  hovel,  or  hole  in  the  ground,  —  to 
which  I  might  retire  when  my  labor  was 
over,  where  I  could  eat  my  frugal  meals, 
and  lie  down  to  slumber  at  night.  I 
longed  for  a  place  in  which  I  could  feel 
that  I  was  localized,  around  which 
domestic  associations  might  gradually 
entwine  themselves,  and  where  I  might 
sing  in  the  twilight  the  songs  of  my 
childhood.1 

The  fifth  day  of  my  sojourn  on  the 
iceberg  was  the  great  day  of  discovery. 
I  determined,  that  morning,  that  I  would 
now  make  a  thorough  survey  of  the  whole 

1  John  informs  the  editor  that  he  never  wrote  a 
word  of  the  last  lines,  and  that  he  thinks  it  about 
time  for  him  to  take  the  bellows  again. 
7 


98       John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

island.  I  knew  that  it  would  be  rough 
work,  and  somewhat  dangerous;  for,  in 
some  places,  there  were  cavities  fifty  feet 
deep,  and  I  should  have  to  climb  over 
some  very  steep  ice,  where  it  was  as 
smooth  as  glass.  Before  starting,  I 
pulled  several  nails  out  of  the  hoops  that 
lay  around,  and  drove  them  into  the  soles 
of  my  boots  ;  and  I  was  fortunate  enough 
to  find  a  good  stout  stick,  into  the  end  of 
which  I  also  fastened  one  of  the  nails. 
Filling  my  pockets  with  crackers,  and 
slinging  a  slice  of  cooked  bear's  meat  over 
my  shoulder,  I  started  off,  having  been 
careful  first  to  pile  up  several  loose  blocks 
of  ice  in  the  form  of  a  pillar,  so  that  I 
might  be  able  to  find  the  place  again.  I 
then  struck  —  as  it  afterwards  turned  out 
most  fortunately  —  for  that  side  of  the 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.       99 

berg  where  the  surface  shelved  off  grad 
ually  to  the  water.  About  eleven  o'clock, 
I  found  myself  standing  on  quite  a  lofty 
peak  of  ice  ;  and,  looking  down,  my  eyes 
fell  upon  a  sight  that  almost  took  away 
my  breath.  Spread  out  before  me  on  a 
level  plain,  there  lay  a  large  black  patch, 
which  looked  as  though  it  must  be  earth ; 
and  on  the  farther  side,  just  where  the 
berg  began  to  slope  towards  the  sea,  I 
thought  that  I  saw  something  that  looked 
like  a  building !  Could  it  be  that  the 
island  was  inhabited?  Running,  sliding, 
slipping  down,  as  fast  as  I  could  go,  in  a 
short  tune  I  found  that  I  was  not  mis 
taken  in  supposing  that  it  was  earth  :  for 
there  lay,  stretched  out  before  me,  an 
acre  or  so  of  ground,  almost  as  smooth 
and  level  as  a  garden ;  and,  at  the  farther 


100    John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

end  of  the  plot,  there  stood,  —  not  an  or 
dinary  house,  not  a  barn,  not  an  Esqui 
maux  hut,  not  a  country  store,  not  a 
railroad  depot,  not  a  meeting-house,  — 
but,  what  do  you  imagine  ?  I  will  tell 
you  as  soon  as  I  get  there.  Rushing  like 
mad  across  the  ground,  —  oh,  how  pleas 
ant  it  was  to  feel  the  soft  soil  under  my 
cold  feet !  —  I  came  to  what  looked  like  a 
dismasted  ship,  imbedded  clear  up  to  the 
gunwale1  in  the  ice.  There  lay  the  whole 
deck  of  a  three-masted  vessel,  unbroken 
and  undisturbed;  but,  as  I  soon  ascer 
tained,  there  was  no  hull  underneath,  for 
the  deck  had  evidently  been  broken  off 
from  the  lower  parts  of  the  ship,  and 

1  Pronounced  gunnell :  "  The  uppermost  bend 
which  finishes  the  upper  works  of  the  hull,  and 
from  which  the  upper  guns,  if  the  vessel  carry  any, 
are  pointed." 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     101 

thrown  up  the  smooth,  inclined  plane  of 
ice  to  the  spot  where  I  found  it,  and  then 
been  frozen  in  there.  What  a  discovery 
this  was  !  I  did  not  know  how  to  con 
tain  or  how  to  express  my  delight ;  and, 
before  beginning  to  explore  the  premises, 
the  very  first  thing  that  I  did  was  to  rush 
up  to  the  bell,  that  hung  near  the  bows, 
and  ring  it  with  all  my  might.  You  can't 
tell  how  strange  it  sounded,  up  there  in 
that  solitary,  silent,  arctic  sea,  to  hear 
the  loud  clang  of  the  old  bell  sounding 
out  over  the  waters,  as  I  tugged  and 
tugged  away  at  the  rope.  It  would  have 
done  the  hearts  of  "  Hooper  &  Son,  Bos 
ton,  Mass.," — whose  name  I  saw  printed 
on  it,  —  it  would  have  done  the  whole  firm 
good,  to  have  heard  it.  After  I  had 
ceased  ringing,  and  slowly  tolled  the  bell 


102     John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

for  a  few  minutes,  so  that  I  might  make 
it  seem  as  if  I  were  going  to  meeting  in 
Roxbury,  I  sat  down  on  the  capstan  to 
think  matters  over.  Nothing  had  hap 
pened  yet  that  excited  me  like  this. 
Jumping  through  the  earth,  and  then  get 
ting  stuck  in  the  centre;  being  blown 
through  the  axis,  and  lighting  on  an  ice 
berg  at  the  north  pole,  and  all  that  sort  of 
thing,  —  I  looked  back  upon  rather  as  a 
matter  of  course.  But  to  find  myself 
sitting  here  on  the  deck  of  a  three- 
master,  with  the  cabins  and  offices  at  the 
stern  all  in  good  order,  and  the  caboose- 
house  in  the  centre,  with  the  little  funnel 
sticking  out  of  the  top,  and  a  big  boat 
close  by  it,  covered  with  canvas,  and  a 
huge  anchor  at  the  bows,  and  spare 
rigging  and  spare  masts  lying  all  along 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.     103 

the  sides,  and  a  real  bell  to  ring, — this 
was  a  little  too  much,  even  for  John 
Whopper. 

What  was  I  to  find  in  the  cabins,  and 
the  offices,  and  the  pantries,  and  the 
caboose-house?  The  caboose-house  re 
minded  me  that  I  was  getting  hungry, 
and  that  it  was  near  dinner-time.  I  had 
expected  to  make  my  meal  of  dry  crack 
ers  and  cold  bear-meat ;  but  it  occurred 
to  me,  that,  on  such  an  occasion  as  the 
present,  a  luxurious  repast  would  be 
more  appropriate,  as  well  as  more  agree 
able,  and  that  very  possibly  I  might  find 
in  the  caboose-house  the  materials  for 
gratifying  my  appetite.  I  did  not  as  yet 
feel  quite  prepared  to  visit  the  cabins  at 
the  stern,  for  I  knew  that  I  must  become 
very  much  excited  at  what  would  be 


104    John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

found  there,  and  a  good  dinner  would 
serve  to  strengthen  my  nerves,  and  set 
me  up.  I  went,  therefore,  at  once  to  the 
caboose,  and  slid  back  the  door,  which 
required  considerable  effort;  and,  sure 
enough,  there  was  every  thing  at  hand 
that  I  expected,  and  a  great  deal  more. 
The  accident  which  lifted  the  deck  from 
the  hull  of  the  ship  must  have  happened 
about  the  middle  of  the  forenoon;  for 
there  was  the  fire  all  ready  to  be  lighted 
in  the  cooking-stove,  —  shavings,  kind 
lings,  and  coal  in  place ;  and  there  lay 
the  cooking  utensils  quite  convenient. 
This  was  not  all ;  the  materials  for  the 
dinner  had  been  brought  up,  — a  great 
deal  more  than  I  could  consume  in  a 
week.  Immediately  I  took  a  match  from 
my  pocket,  —  there  was  a  box  of  matches 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     105 

hanging  on  the  wall,  but  I  did  not  feel 
sure  that  they  would  be  in  working  or 
der, —  and  lighted  the  fire.  The  next 
thing  that  I  did  was  to  go  and  select  a 
lump  of  clean,  clear  ice,  to  be  melted  in 
the  kettle,  that  I  might  be  ready  to  wash 
up  my  dishes  properly  after  dinner.  I 
tell  you  that  I  gave  a  big  shout  when  I 
saw  the  smoke  curling  out  of  the  funnel. 
I  now  proceeded,  very  deliberately,  to 
select  from  the  cans  and  bottles  and  jars, 
that  were  piled  up  in  the  corner,  the 
various  items  of  which  I  would  make  my 
dinner.  The  first  thing  that  I  settled 
upon  was  a  dish  of  "  Parker's  ox-tail 
soup"  which  I  remembered  to  have  eaten 
some  time  ago  at  the  house  of  a  benev 
olent  gentleman  in  Washington  Street, 
when  he  gave  the  newsboys  a  lunch.  My 


106     John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

second  course  should  consist  of  a  potted 
partridge,  with  tomato  sauce,  desiccated 
turnips  (I  didn't  know  what  desiccated 
meant,  but  I  took  it  for  granted  that  it 
was  all  right) ,  and  one  or  two  of  Lewis's 
pickles.  I  would  then  close  with  part 
of  a  jar  of  preserved  peaches.  I  did  not 
need  to  do  much  cooking  in  getting  up 
this  dinner;  but  I  had  hot  soup,  hot  to 
matoes,  and  warm  turnips,  which  got  a 
little  smoked,  and  didn't  taste  very  good, 
—  perhaps,  however,  that  was  because  it 
was  desiccated.  I  enjoyed  the  dinner 
tremendously ;  and  after  it  was  over,  and 
my  dishes  were  all  washed  and  put  away, 
roy  eye  lighted  upon  a  box,  half  full  of 
cigars,  on  the  shelf.  My  first  thought 
was,  "Now  I  will  have  a  cigar,  as  the 
gentlemen  do  that  you  see  at  the  steps  of 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     107 

the  Tremont  House  in  the  afternoon,  and 
that  will  make  it  seem  more  like  home." 
But,  upon  second  thought,  it  occurred  to 
me  that  this  would  probably  make  me  so 
sick  for  the  remainder  of  the  day,  that  I 
should  be  unable  to  do  any  thing,  and 
that  I  couldn't  spare  the  time.  So  I 
decided  not  to  smoke  until  I  had  leisure 
enough  to  be  ill  for  a  while. 

And  now,  with  a  throbbing  heart,  I 
turned  my  steps  towards  the  cabin-door, 
and  entered  the  gangway.  There  were 
two  or  three  doors  on  the  sides  of  the 
narrow  passage,  which  I  did  not  care  to 
open  at  present ;  and  so  I  passed  on  to  the 
central  door  that  led  into  the  main  room. 
I  had  feared  that  I  might  be  startled  by 
the  sight  of  dead  bodies  or  skeletons 
here  ;  but  there  was  nothing  repulsive  to 


108    John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

be  seen,  nothing  that  looked  like  disorder 
or  confusion.  There  stood  the  centre- 
table,  with  a  few  books  and  pamphlets 
lying  on  it,  and  two  or  three  chairs 
drawn  around,  and  a  large  lamp  sus 
pended  above.  There  was  the  grate, 
containing  a  few  half-consumed  embers; 
there  was  the  compass,  swinging  between 
the  stern-windows.  A  nice  Brussels  car 
pet  was  under  my  feet ;  and  there  were 
three  doors  on  either  side  of  the  cabin, 
opening  into  the  staterooms.  The  vessel 
appeared  to  have  been  a  first-class  mer 
chantman,  fitted  to  carry  -half  a  dozen 
passengers ;  and  how  such  a  vessel  as  this 
ever  found  its  way  into  these  northern 
seas  was  a  mystery.  I  just  glanced  for  a 
moment  into  these  rooms,  and  saw  there 
trunks  and  valises,  and  all  the  usual  arti- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     109 

cles  of  the  toilet,  mirrors,  beds,  and  bed 
ding,  and  all  other  things  expected  in  a 
respectable  apartment.  Then  I  visited 
the  captain's  room  and  the  mate's ;  the 
pantry,  store-room,  etc. ;  and  all  the  sup 
plies  and  utensils  seemed  to  be  abundant 
and  of  the  best  quality.  I  tried  to  find 
the  log-book,  but  that  was  missing ;  and 
from  this  I  inferred  that  the  captain 
had  made  his  escape  in  safety,  taking 
it  with  him.  This  thought  gave  me 
pleasure. 

No  danger  now  of  my  suffering  for 
want  of  the  comforts  or  luxuries  of  life  ;  I 
could  dress  elegantly,  sleep  magnificently, 
and  fare  sumptuously.  I  selected  the 

a 

captain's  room  for  my  private  apartment ; 
and  having  no  luggage  to  transport,  it 
required  but  little  time  for  me  to  take 
possession. 


110     John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

The  sun  had  now  sunk  as  near  the  hori 
zon  as  it  ever  did  in  that  region  during 
the  month  of  July,  and  what  we  called 
evening  at  home  drew  near.  I  prepared 
my  cup  of  tea  in  the  cabin,  and  spread 
my  supper  on  the  centre-table  ;  then  went 
out  to  take  a  little  stroll  on  the  deck.  I 
closed  the  door  of  the  caboose-house, 
and,  for  the  sake  of  appearances,  fastened 
it ;  then  went  up  to  the  bell,  and  struck 
the  hour,  just  to  gratify  a  sentimental 
feeling  that  I  had.  Then  I  retired  to  the 
cabin  for  the  night ;  and  in  order  to  make 
it  seem  snug  and  cosey,  I  dropped  the 
curtains  over  the  windows,  and  lighted 
the  hanging  lamp.  Kindling  a  fire  in  the 
grate,  I  sat  down  at  the  table  and  tried  to 
read.  But  situated  as  I  was,  I  found  it 
impossible  to  fix  my  mind  upon  the  book  ; 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.     Ill 

and  so  I  threw  myself  down  upon  the 
lounge  to  think  over  what  had  happened, 
and  speculate  as  to  the  probabilities  of 
the  future.  It  may  seem  strange  to  some 
persons ;  but,  with  all  my  comforts  about 
me,  I  felt  more  homesick  than  I  did 
when  I  was  lying  on  the  ice  in  my  bear 
skin,  or  when  I  was  poking  about  in  the 
bowels  of  the  earth,  trying  to  see  how  I 
could  get  out.  There  was  nothing  to 
occupy  my  body;  and  that,  I  suppose, 
was  one  reason  why  my  mind  worked  as 
it  did.  At  about  ten  o'clock,  I  went 
to  bed,  and,  after  tossing  about  uneasily 
for  an  hour  or  two,  managed  to  fall 
asleep. 

When  I  awoke  in  the  morning,  it  took 
me  some  time  to  remember  where  I  was. 
I  thought,  at  first,  that  I  was  at  home, 


112     John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

and  could  hear  the  birds  singing  by  the 
window ;  and  I  believe  that  I  called  out 
"  Bob  ! "  once  or  twice  before  I  was  fairly 
roused.  But  soon  the  real  state  of  the 
case  came  back  to  me ;  and,  going  into 
the  staterooms,  I  hunted  round  until  I 
found  a  suit  of  good  clean  clothes  that 
would  fit  me,  and  dressed  myself  for  the 
day.  The  clothes  that  I  had  worn  were 
now  so  dirty  and  torn  that  I  was  very 
glad  to  get  rid  of  them.  After  break 
fasting  heartily,  —  and  an  excellent  cup 
of  hot  coffee  I  had  that  morning, — I 
began  to  think  what  I  should  do  with 
myself  during  the  day.  I  had  no  longer 
to  go  tramping  about  in  search  of  food ; 
and  so- 1  thought  that  I  would  take  a  lit 
tle  stroll  over  my  farm,  — as  I  called  the 
acre  of  loam  that  lay  by  the  side  of  my 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     113 

abode,  —  and  see  how  the  crops  were 
looking.  I  must  confess  that  the  vegeta 
tion  was  not  much  advanced ;  and  yet  I 
could  see,  here  and  there,  little  green 
shoots  springing  out  of  the  earth,  indicat 
ing  that  the  summer  sun  was  beginning  to 
have  its  effect  upon  the  soil.  It  then 
occurred  to  me  how  pleasant  it  would  be 
to  look  out  upon  a  greensward  in  that  icy 
spot;  and  remembering  to  have  seen 
in  the  storeroom  a  canvas  bag  marked 
"  grass-seed,"  and  a  rake  standing  there, 
I  went  for  them,  and  passed  the  forenoon 
in  agricultural  pursuits.  In  a  few  hours, 
I  had  quite  a  patch  of  ground  nicely 
raked  over,  and  sown  for  grass.  In  less 
than  a  fortnight,  it  had  sprouted  beau 
tifully,  and  I  began  to  be  quite  proud  of 
my  arctic  lawn. 


114    John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

All  the  time,  however,  I  was  wondering 
how  I  should  find  my  way  back  to  the 
abodes  of  man,  and  how  soon  I  might  ex 
pect  to  start  for  home.  I  had  presumed, 
that,  as  the  season  advanced,  I  should 
begin  to  drift  southward;  and  I  hoped, 
that,  before  the  winter  closed  in  again,  I 
might  reach  those  parts  of  the  sea  which 
are  frequented  by  vessels,  and  so  find  res 
cue.  But  whether  I  was  moving  or  not, 
it  was  impossible  as  yet  to  tell,  as  there 
was  no  fixed  object  in  sight  by  which  a 
movement  could  be  measured.  I  felt  very 
certain  that  the  iceberg  was  not  grounded, 
because  there  would  be,  occasionally,  a 
quivering  of  the  whole  mass,  which 
showed  that  it  was  floating  on  the  water. 
It  was  also  growing  warmer  and  warmer 
every  day,  which  was  a  favorable  symp- 


John  Whopper  the  Newsboy.     115 

torn.  If  I  had  known  how  to  use  the 
sextant  or  quadrant,  I  could  have  settled 
the  matter  at  once. 

Before  long,  I  was  satisfied,  from  the 
change  in  the  appearance  of  the  ocean  and 
of  the  sun,  that  I  was  indeed  moving  rap 
idly  away  from  the  north  pole ;  and  the 
fact  that  I  was  afloat  was  settled  conclu 
sively  by  a  very  alarming  circumstance. 
I  had  observed  for  a  day  or  two,  that  the 
hanging-lamp  did  not  appear  to  be  en 
tirely  perpendicular ;  and,  in  walking  the 
deck,  I  had  the  sensation  that  I  was  not 
treading  on  a  perfectly  level  surface. 
Searching  the  mate's  room,  I  found  a 
spirit-level,  and  laid  it  on  the  floor. 
There  was  no  doubt  of  the  fact :  the  berg 
was  undoubtedly  tilting  on  one  side.  I 
then  remembered,  that,  not  unfrequently, 


116     John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

these  mountains  of  ice  rolled  over,  and 
made  a  complete  somerset.  This  was 
now,  sooner  or  later,  going  to  happen. 
What  could  I  do?  I  found  that  the  ice, 
on  the  side  that  was  beginning  to  incline 
towards  the  sea,  was  much  higher  than 
elsewhere,  and  that  this  superior  weight 
was  gradually  destroying  the  equilibrium 
of  the  berg.  I  also  observed,  that,  be 
tween  this  elevation  and  the  more  level 
region,  there  was  a  narrow,  deep  fissure, 
extending  almost  entirely  across  the  line 
of  the  lofty  projection  of  ice. 

A  great  thought  now  flashed  upon  me. 
I  remembered  to  have  seen  on  the  deck, 
the  day  after  my  arrival,  two  or  three 
casks,  labelled  "Dangerous  I  Handle 
very  carefully  !  !  Nitro-glycerine  !  !  !  " 
These  casks  I  at  once  removed  to  a  safe 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     117 

distance,  marking  with  an  upright  stick 
the  place  where  they  were  deposited. 
Nitro-glycerine  !  —  I  said  to  myself.  It 
was  that  that  blew  up  the  "  The  European" 
at  Panama.  I  remember  it  because  I  sold 
three  hundred  and  nine  papers  by  crying 
"  Great  Explosion."  A  newsboy  knows 
something.  And  nitro-glycerine  will  go 
off  if  you  hit  it  hard  enough. 

In  the  captain's  room,  there  were 
several  large,  metallic  flasks,  made  very 
broad  and  flat,  as  I  suppose  for  the 
purpose  of  better  stowage  in  his  room. 
What  they  had  formerly  contained,  I 
could  only  judge  by  the  smell ;  but  they 
were  empty  now.  This,  then,  was  the 
experiment  that  I  would  try, — filling 
these  flasks  with  nitro-glycerine,  I  would 
lower  them  into  a  crevice  in  the  ice. 


118     John  Whopper  the  JNewsboy. 

Then,  if  I  could,  I  must  make  a  block  of 
ice  fall  on  them. 

In  two  or  three  hours,  my  preparations 
were  concluded.  The  flasks  were  just 
large  enough  to  fit  snugly  in  the  chasm. 
Above  them,  the  precipice  hung  over  a 
little.  Half-hidden  by  the  bulwarks  of 
the  ship,  I  fired  three  bullets  from  the 
captain's  gun  into  the  projecting  mass. 
Nothing  fell.  I  loaded  her  again,  —  fired 
again,  and  a  great  block  of  ice  keeled  over 
and  slid  down.  As  fast  did  I  leap  down 
stairs  into  the  cabin,  as  if  I  should  be  safe 
there.  As  I  landed,  I  felt  the  great  ice 
berg  tremble ;  then  came  a  sharp,  quick, 
terrible  crash,  as  if  forty  thunders  had 
broken  all  together  right  over  my  head, 
and  the  great  hill  of  ice  sank  grandly  and 
slowly  into  the  ocean  below.  For  a  min- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     119 

lite  or  two,  I  could  hear  the  roar  of  the 
waters  as  they  opened  to  receive  the  huge 
mass,  and  the  berg  rocked  as  if  in  a  great 
storm  ;  then  all  was  still  again.  I  rushed 
back  to  my  cabin,  laid  the  spirit-level  on 
the  floor,  and  the  little  bubble  stopped 
right  in  the  middle  of  the  tube.  The 
danger  was  over. 

Another  week  passed;  and  there  was 
no  longer  any  room  to  doubt  that  I  was 
moving,  and  in  the  right  direction.  At 
the  pole,  there  was  never  a  breath  of 
wind ;  but  now  it  blew  quite  strong.  The 
compass  began  to  show  signs  of  vitality ; 
and,  at  midnight,  I  could  see  some  of  the 
brightest  of  the  stars.  The  sun  dropped 
nearer  and  nearer  the  horizon  every  even 
ing,  and  it  was  growing  uncomfortably 
warm  at  mid-day.  As  I  was  now  getting 


120   .John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

some  information  from  the  sun  as  to  the 
points  of  the  compass,  I  set  up  a  vane  on 
the  deck,  in  order  to  find  out,  from  day 
to  day,  the  direction  of  the  wind.  This 
put  another  idea  into  my  head.  Couldn't 
I  do  something  to  help  the  old  berg  along  ? 
Why  couldn't  the  spare  masts  and  sails, 
that  lay  along  the  sides  of  the  deck,  be 
put  to  some  use?  The  foremast  of  the 
ship  was  broken  off  about  fifteen  feet  from 
the  level  of  the  deck,  and  I  went  to  work 
to  splice  on  a  jury-mast.  It  was  slow 
and  pretty  hard  work.  I  had  to  arrange 
the  blocks  and  tackles  in  the  most  scien 
tific  manner,  in  order  to  lift  the  heavy 
timber  to  its  place ;  and  it  required  a 
great  deal  of  strength  to  bring  the  ropes 
around  the  fore  and  jury-mast,  so  as  to 
bind  them  securely  together.  I  then 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     121 

managed  to  rig  a  yard  to  the  mast,  and, 
in  the  course  of  another  day,  had  quite  a 
respectable  sail  set.  The  day  after,  I  got 
up  a  jib,  and  then  crowned  the  whole  by 
hoisting  the  American  flag  to  the  top  of 
the  mast.  I  did  not  keep  this  flying  all 
the  time,  but  reserved  it  for  great  occa 
sions. 

Here  then,  was  a  novel  sight,  —  a  great 
iceberg  under  sail,  and  protected  by  the 
stars  and  stripes.  Whether  it  helped 
us  along  or  not,  I  am  unable  to  say : 
but  it  was  a  satisfaction  for  me  to  feel 
that  I  had  done  what  I  could ;  and  it 
gave  me  pleasure  to  go  off  a  little  dis 
tance,  and  look  at  the  extraordinary 
spectacle.  I  could  not  help  laughing  to 
think  what  the  old  salts  would  say, 
when  I  got  down  amongst  the  whalers 


122     John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

and  explorers,  at  the  sight  of  an  iceberg 
under  sail! 

I  have  nothing  more  to*  tell  of  my  ad 
ventures  in  the  arctic  seas.  About  the 
middle  of  September,  I  had  reached  the 
more  frequented  parts  of  the  ocean,  and 
every  day  was  on  the  lookout  for  some 
friendly  barque,  to  liberate  me  from  my 
dreary  solitude.  For  months  I  had  not 
heard  the  sound  of  a  human  voice,  and 
I  began  to  long  for  the  society  of  my 
fellow-men.  Every  morning  I  posted 
myself,  with  a  spy-glass,  on  the  highest 
peak  of  the  berg,  searching  the  horizon 
for  a  sail.  My  situation  on  the  deck  was 
becoming  every  hour  more  and  more  pre 
carious.  The  melting  of  the  ice  under 
neath  had  already  caused  the  stern  to 
incline  very  decidedly  towards  the  in- 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     123 

clined  plane  that  led  down  to  the  ocean  ; 
and  I  felt  that  the  slightest  jar  might,  at 
any  time,  precipitate  the  whole  concern, 
myself  included,  into  .the  sea.  I  sup 
pose,  indeed,  that  nothing  but  the  coun 
teracting  influence  of  the  sails,  which 
filled  in  the  opposite  direction,  had  pre 
vented  this  catastrophe. 

At  last,  after  many  a  long  and  weary 
watch,  I  descried,  in  the  far-off  distance, 
a  sail ;  but  the  vessel  moved  off  towards 
the  horizon,  and  was  soon  lost  to  sight. 
It  was  a  bitter  disappointment ;  and  still 
I  thought  that  wherever  one  ship  was 
sailing,  others  would  be  likely  to  come 
in  sight  before  long.  I  kept  the  flag  fly 
ing  now  all  the  time,  and  hardly  ventured 
to  sleep  at  all,  lest  some  vessel  might 
pass  by  unnoticed.  On  the  twenty-fifth 


124     John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

of  September,  as  I  woke  from  a  short 
and  broken  slumber,  I  descried,  not  more 
than  two  miles  off,  a  ship,  heading 
directly  for  the  berg.  As  soon  as  she 
was  near  enough  for  the  signal  to  be  ob 
served,  I  lowered  and  hoisted  my  flag  five 
or  six  times  in  quick  succession ;  and, 
to  my  joy,  I  saw  the  signal  answered. 
It  was  all  right  now:  the  only  question 
to  be  solved  was,  as  to  the  manner  in 
which  I  would  get  on  board  the  vessel.  I 
anticipated  that  they  would  not  venture 
to  bring  the  ship  alongside  of  the  berg, 
but  would  probably  put  out  a  long-boat 
for  my  rescue.  As  soon  as  that  came 
within  hailing  distance,  I  would  establish 
communication  with  the  crew ;  and,  be 
tween  us  all,  I  did  not  doubt  but  some 
way  would  be  found  for  me  to  escape. 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     125 

In  a  short  time,  as  I  had  foreseen,  the 
ship  lay  to ;  and  the  boat  came  off,  and 
was  rowed  to  the  foot  of  the  inclined 
plane.  I  never  saw  a  more  astonished 
set  of  men  in  my  life.  They  were  staring 
at  me  and  my  extraordinary  craft,  as  if 
their  eyes  would  start  from  the  sockets ; 
and  the  coxswain  rose  and  shouted, — 

"Ahoy,  up  there  !  who  are  you?" 

"John  Whopper,"  I  replied,  "eldest 
son  of  the  Widow  Whopper,  now  resid 
ing  in  Roxbury,  Mass.,  U.  S.  of  Amer 
ica." 

"  Gracious  me  ! "  cried  one  of  the  men, 
w  I  know  Widow  Whopper." 

"I  hope  you  left  her  well?" 

"Much  as  usual,"  the  sailor  replied. 

I  was  very  glad  to  hear  it. 

"Where  are  you  from?"    shouted  the 


126     John  Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

coxswain  again;  "and  where  did  you  get 
your  rigging?" 

"  I  will  tell  you  when  I  get  aboard" 

"  Come  aboard,  then." 

"•I  don't  exactly  see  how  to  manage 
it." 

"Come  down  the  plane,  and  we  will 
catch  you." 

It  was  too  steep  and  slippery  for  me 
to  do  that ;  but,  on  the  instant,  another 
bright  thought  arose.  "Pull  off  a  hun 
dred  feet  or  so,"  I  cried,  "  and  I  will  be 
along." 

As  soon  as  I  saw  that  they  had  rowed 
to  a  safe  distance,  I  went  to  the  mast, 
and  suddenly  let  the  sail  go.  In  an 
instant,  I  felt  the  deck  quiver;  and  it 
began  to  move,  very  slowly  at  first,  and 
then  with  a  tremendous  rush,  right  down 


John   Whopper  the  Newsboy.     127 

the  inclined  plane.  I  grasped  a  rope 
with  all  my  might,  and  steadied  myself 
for  the  shock  that  must  come  when  my 
craft  plunged  into  the  sea.  But  there 
was  no  shock  at  all ;  gently  as  a  ship 
slides  on  her  cradle,  when  launched  into 
the  water,  the  old  deck  glided  off  upon 
the  waves,  and  in  five  minutes  I  found 
myself  safely  on  board  the  long-boat.  No 
sooner,  however,  had  I  left  the  strange 
craft,  than  it  began  to  sink  slowly  into 
the  depths  ;  and  the  last  thing  that  I  saw 
was  the  American  flag  floating  on  the 
bosom  of  the  deep. 

What  was  said  to  me  when  I  reached 
the  ship,  and  what  I  said,  I  have  not 
time  to  relate ;  only  I  didn't  tell  every 
thing. 

The  vessel    proved  to    be    a  whaler, 


128     John   Whopper  the  Newsboy. 

bound  for  New  Bedford ;  where  I  arrived 
in  good  condition,  and  took  the  cars  for 
Roxbury,  vi£  the  Boston  and  Providence 
Road,  passing  through  Canton. 

I  found   all  well    at    home,    and   very 
much  relieved  by  my  arrival. 


THE  EXD. 


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